1991 / 1992
AGED 19/20
Designatio Futurus
The Purpose of this book is to record a somewhat co-hesive plan towards a strategy of life. Within will be stated certain goals hoped to be achieved and using Various methods of the occults such as astrology, I-ching and tarot the cosmos will be consulted as to the best time to pursue these objectives and also weather such a course of action is correct and permissible. The results of these actions and objectives will also be recorded so as to judge the validity of the above mentioned records and to record the progress of the coming year.
Probably the biggest problem at the moment is accomodation. It’s now becoming totally impractical to live here. Firstly I want to know if I should use the Goetia to find a place, secondly, should I go and see Darren who already has a place of his own and may help.
Q, What will be the result if I use the Goetia Marbas to find somewhere else to live?
S/ 35 [one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 35] (STATIC).
Q, What will be the result if I visit Darren at his flat on Tuesday?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 22, 52]
A/ HOUSE. Chin.
Progress
In Chin we see a prince who secures the tranquility of the people.
P.T.O
A, Darren
Adornment
Pi is what is ornamental and the act of adorning. As ornament is in nature, so should it be in society; but it is secondary to the essential. The superior man throws a brilliancy around his various processes of government, but does not dare, in a similar way, to decide cases of criminal litigation. Arresting movement He adorns himself, but if need be, he can give up every luxury and indulgence.
Arresting movement Ken.
Ken denotes resting or stopping, resting when it is time to rest, acting when to act, when they take place at the proper time for them, it’s way of proceeding is brilliant and intelligent.
1 – –
[Result]
It definately says I should go for the house. It doesn’t really say I should or shouldn’t see Darren, it really states what I’ll do there perhaps? I’ll ask in a different way later.
Date: Wednesday 20th March 1991.
There a number of things I’m using a grimoire to sort out (or thinking of). I’ve already been told I can try to move. I also want to know if my re-housement idea can be helped. Louise is a big problem and is upsetting my life. She’s deliberately lied about me and tried to hurt me (and succeeded) so I want to know if it would be ok to try and keep her from the house.
By I Ching.
Q, What will be the result if on Tuesday I use the spirit planned to Aqiure money. (MONEY)
S/ [one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 1] (STATIC). 1
Q, What will be the result if on Friday night I use the spirit planned to insure Louise doesn’t stay here again in punishment for lying to me, but specially she doesn’t get hurt? (Louise)
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 22, 26]
Also I want to know what will happen if I use the Goetia without the watchtower ritual. grimoires
Q, Will the Goetia still work if I don’t preform the Watchtower ritual ?onto it? (WATCH TOWER)
S/ [one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 3] (STATIC). 3
2 – –
ANSWERS
MONEY
CREATIVE Chein.
This represents what is great and orginal, penetrating, advantageous, correct and firm. The method of chein is to change and transform. Conditions of great harmony are preserved in union. The superior man ?reviews activity without tireing effort – Advantageous to perservere.
LOUISE Pi.
Adornment.
Pi is what is ornamented and adorning. Adornment is necessary but secondary to what is essential. The superior man throws a brilliancy around his processes of government, but does not dare – to decide cases of criminal litigation.
He adorns his beard, he rouses to action.
The great taming force.
It will be advantageous to be firm and correct. If he does not seek to enjoy his revenues in his own family without taking service at court there will be good fortune. It will be advantageous to ?cross the great stream. (embrace a hazardous course).
WATCHTOWER
There will be great progress and success in beeing firm. Any advance should not be lightly undertaken. The superior man see’s the immediate danger and avoids it.
[RESULTS]
It definately thinks I should go for the money.
It seems to say Louise is isn’t worth worrying about, keep it will be o.k if I want it to but prob not. (I think).
It says I should continue the watchtower.
3 – –
I’ve just used Vine (21/3/91) to try to get somewhere new to live. The Goetia said he appeared as a lion or a horse holding a snake, I just saw the shoulders of a man with the head of a lion.
Date: Thursday 21st March 1991.
Last night when I was falling asleep I saw a small white house in some woodland.
4 – –
22nd March 1991.
Last night I ?raised this spirit of Jupiter from the greater key. I asked for his assistance to succeed and for wealth. Time was 10-00 at ?least. This spirit ?we ?never heard nor was denied. It appeared at first as a small figure up in the distance then came right up and stared so close I could only see eye’s nose and a mouth, first class!
5 – –
Date: Friday 22nd March 1991 (work: wrong hours).
LUCID DREAMING 1
I wore the bangle while in bed and although it didn’t hold my attention constantly it did draw it occasionally made me think of the task in hand. I fell asleep before coming out my body, but this I mean I was asleep before I began the attempt. When I woke up I’d had a paticually vivid dream. I remembered to rise in the air but I’d been awake a few seconds before I did though. Not a bad attempt. 3 out of 10.
Date: Sunday 24th March 1991.
Since doing the Rituals I’ve ?clearly been thinking of how I can make more money, I’ve had a few ideas and will be following them up on Monday.
Yesterday Geoff deliberately hogged up the video so I never ?broadcast, that made me want to move. Today Ann just went round that’s made me desperately want to go forever and never see the stinking bitch again.
?By I ching.
Q, How get I get away from Ann and live elsewhere ?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 53, 52]
A/ Arresting Movement.
This denotes stopping or resting, resting when it’s time to rest, acting when time to (PW)
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proper time for them, it’s way of proceeding is brilliant and intelligent. end
Gradual progress. Growth chien
This suggests the marriage of a young lady. There will be good fortune attending it. Advantageous to be firm and correct. Gradual advance, like a tree rooting in by water.
The superior gradually advances to the high position. He gets what he desires, good fortune.
Q, If I go and see Daron Today can he help me leave home?
S/ STATIC 50 [one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 50]
Q, What do I need to do to move out?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 20, 12]
A, DARON
Cultivation of Great progress and success. The Kings ?copied their offerings in order to present them to God and made great feasts to nourish their wise and able ministers.
MOVE HOUSE.
CONTEMPLATION.
This says he should be like the worshipper who has washed his abultions, but not yet his offering. With sincerity and dignity he inspires trust.
Contemplating the glory of the Kingdom, It will be advantageous for him, beeing such as he is, to seek to be a guest of a King.
STAGNATION
?Firmly standing between the different classes of men, and it’s indication is unfavourable to the firm and correct course of the superior man: We see
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in it to great guilt will come. The superior man restrains the manifestations of his vertue and avoids the calamitys that threaten him.
Result
May be saying I’ve done what I can with the Goetia, so seeing him may start the ball rolling. The other one’s hard. It seems to say contemplate a house and see someone who already owns one, then it says wait before doing anything, I think?
Thursday 28th March 1991.
I ?rang up Darren yesterday, but he had someone coming so I didn’t come/go. when I got back Ann reckond he’d rang before I got back. I looked in another book in the occult shop on the hexagram 12 and it was almost certainly saying don’t go or mix with the wrong type of person. It seems the 2nd Q Awnser answered the first question, my fault for not asking properly.
Q, What will be the result if I renew my advertisment in Prediction today?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 1, 58]
Q, Would it be a good idea to apply for a P.O. Box number today?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 1, 38]
8 – –
PREDICTION. CREATIVE
Chein represents what is great, orginating advantageous, correct and firm. The method of chein is to change and transform conditions of great unity are preserved in union. The superior man reviews activity with untiring effort. Advantageous to perservere.
The superior man is active and vigulent during the day and must be catious in evening – danger
A Dragon exceeding the proper limit is repent. A state of fulness should not be indulged for long.
JOY PLEASURE.
Progress and attainment. Advantageous to be firm and correct. Joy is great, it encourages and inspires the people. True joy rests on firmness and strength within, manifesting itself outwardly as yeilding and gentle.
P.O. Box.
As above including 1 but not 2.
Dragon on the wing in the sky – Advantageous to meet with the great man.
DISUNION.
This shows in small matters there will still be good success. The superior man, in accordance with this, where there is general agreement, yet admits diversity.
Result
It says prediction is a good idea tho I may be overspending and going too far, in the long run it will be good.
The P.O. Box says it’s good, but not the most important thing I’ve ever done. I think I’ll go ahead and do both.
9 – –
Q, What will be the result if I start visualizing myself leaving home every day for 10 minuits?
S/ [two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 35, 16]
A, PROGRESS
Here we find a Prince who secures the tranquility of the people. He uses the horns only to punish the rebellious people of the city. Position parlious, but good fortune – even though he is correct, there is regret.
HARMONY.
This indicates the condition of Harmony, pleasure and satisfaction. The sages show such docile obedience in connection with their movements and hence their punishments and penalties are entirely just and the people are glad in their submission.
RESULT.
The first hexagram says I’m looking for tranquility. The changing line says a method is to punish Ann which causes regret, prob ?throw ?her ?out It ends up O.K Go ahead.
Date: Monday Tuesday 23rd April 1991.
I’ve decided on five Plans/Goals that I want and that I’m going to go for. They are as follows :-
PLAN ONE.
To move out into a flat that I own. I want a self contained flat with a toilet, bathroom/shower, lounge and bedroom. I want a office table near a desk, bookcase. T.V. ect. I want it to be in a block in a nice place to live. I want to live there alone for now.
10 – –
PLAN TWO.
£10000 in my capital builder account that can stay there, not overheads or permanent swallowups.
PLAN THREE.
I want to be more confident. I want to be able to walk into any place or talk to anyone without the slightest nerves what-so-ever.
PLAN FOUR.
I weigh exactly ten stone.
PLAN FIVE.
I want to be able to leave my body at will. This I mean by means of astral projection.
Started a couple of days ago, doing creative visualization but only doing roughly did all five. I do 10 minuits a day at the moment. 1+2 until Christmas, but probably before. 3 give until end of September. 4 again end of September. 5 Until Christmas.
Date: Thursday 25th April.
Still trying to work out astrology, I think I will soon be there. I’ve done over 3 attempts at visualization for my move now, So I can’t expect much. mom did say I could tell the council went with her to try to get a flat, didn’t know if that would work. bought a astral projection tape which may help with 5. I have an astrology kit on order which lets you draw 3 instruments it cost £22 and I’ll start doing astrology proper then.
11 – –
Date: Sunday 28th April 1991.
I missed in visualization yesterday, otherwise all ok. I’m also slowly (very slowly!) beginning to understand astrology.
Date: Monday 29th April 1991.
Ann yesterday just gave me a brief case. which is like I was visualizing. Today I went to sign on and was more confident. Also I paid money into the bank and it was empty like I’d visualized. I was alone & more confident.
Date: Thursday 2nd May April 1991.
I’ve been visualizing & running subliminals every day though. Last night I was very tierd and I dithered with poor concentration and missed the last half, this should be rectified by doing it earlier tonight. I visualize myself going out ect. and the other day Yasmine asked me if I want to go out, but I don’t like her company so I said no, it’s some result though. To show you what I see in the visualizations I propose to draw the pictures.
BIGGER.
12 – –
[Diagram of a room with the following text labels:]
cat
front door
T.V.
BIGGER.
13 – –
PLAN.
Not much to scale, showing just layout.
Lounge is wider, bedroom smaller.
[Diagram of a floor plan with the following text labels:]
?3-2003
T.V
DISPLAY CABINET
Chair
Settee
BOOKCASE
Wardrobe
BED
Drawers
window
BEDROOM
Front door
TABLE
Computer
KITCHEN
FIXTURES
VEILED SHOWER
SINK.
TOILET
BATHROOM
?3-2003
?3-2003
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[Sketch of a view from a window with the following text labels:]
HI RISE.
VIEW FROM BED.
15 – –
[Sketch of a computer setup with the following text labels:]
SCREEN
I.B.M. COMPATIBLE
DISC.
Computer
SCANNER
SOFT WARE
LASER PRINTER
16 – –
I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of ten thousand pounds.
10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000
10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000
10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000
10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000
10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000 10.000
£10.000
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
£50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50 £50
[Sketches of money bags and stacks of bills with the following text labels:]
£50
£
£50
17 – –
[Sketch of a stick figure with the following text label:]
CONFIDENCE
[Sketch of a crossed-out circle (no symbol) and a slender figure next to a weighing scale reading “9 10 11 12” with the following text label:]
?10 st.
18 – –
That’s it.
Date: Wednesday 8th May 1991.
Just recently the house has started to be decorated. I keep on visualizing all the stuff in my bedroom beeing gone, then in my flat. All my stuff has had to be put in Geoff’s room. This has caused loads of rows. I’ve just had one now because my stereo’s been put too far from my bed so I can’t use it and Ann’s took my T.V. and unpluged it with hers so I can’t use it anymore because it’s too far from the bed also. This all means now I can’t use the lounge because I can’t smoke in it, I can’t play music or watch T.V. all I can do is work in my bedroom. Maybe the visualizing works by making life here unbearable. I really am desperate for something.
Also I haven’t re-newed my advert for prediction so I have less money rather than more! I don’t think I’ve lost any weight though I can’t eat inside, so this may come. I’m not sure at all what to do. I’ve only really visualized for over a week now and I suppose it really needs a month or two to get going. Mind you, I have grasped astrology now so I can start making long term plan’s.
Date: Saturday 18th / 19th May 1991.
I’ve had some result.
19 – –
I have been carrying out the prescribed visualizations everyday since specified, approx 20. and I’ll tell you what happened. Jason hasn’t been round for a while, but he did come and tell me to come to town. In town he told me that the man he lives with has to have an operation on the 7th June 1991 and I can go and live with him for 10 days. (7th is a friday). On the wednesday that I’m there we’re going to Kettering for a day out. This result isn’t a permanent flat that I asked for but it is a start and will get me out the house, so it’s definately a result, and a fairly quick one. Not bad. What I’ll do is get shopping & hair cut & packed on the thursday and leave the bags in the garage. On fri I’ll go out for a cigarette and just leave so Ann doesn’t know I’m going and see what she makes of it!
Astral projection a possibility because of a new tape I have. I’m also getting new insights into it.
No money as yet, still waiting.
No weight loss.
Confidence slightly same up though not dramatically.
20 – –
Maybe at Jason’s house, new opertunitys will arise, perhaps its part of the working to change the situation and see that there something will happen in return. I don’t know.
Date: 20th May 1991.
I sent a copy of my law book (2nd) to George Mann so I want to know how its going to do.
Clairvoyance
Q/ Will George Mann publish my book’s?
[two I Ching hexagrams, resulting numbers: 44, 28]
A/ Encountering.
This shows a female who is bold and strong, it will not do well to marry such a female.
He receives others on his horns – regret.
Excess.
The beam is weak. There will be advantage in moving in any direction what-so-ever, and there will be success. The superior man stands up alone and has no fear, and keeps retired from the world with out regret.
(This means no one will read the book, but don’t matter.).
One day.
The business finishes soon and failed to make back it’s money.
Date: Friday 23rd May 1991.
There been some non-provable activity concerning the visualizations
21 – –
which are subjective and possibly relavant.
Firstly when I go to Jason’s I’m considering giving up smoking. I always see myself healthy & slim and I have a feeling that I won’t eat much there.
Also I may “according to crowley’s system” give up saying the word but to develop the will. I may use a 9 volt battery everytime I think otherwise.
The changes have all been in my feelings. I want and move towards my goals without always realising that I’m doing it. I’ve been thinking of sending off for trousers and then buying a shirt and I always see myself in a suit.
I’m definately going to get my hair cut before I go to Jason’s. I also (only today) get the impulse to go and look for work.
Above shows I will develop the will It may / will help with #5 Astral projection.
Also I’m making a real effort to visualize 100% clearly and with scent, sound, atmosphere ect and quite often I get a ?shoot of adrenalin when I do it so the emotion is there.
I also do a candle burning ritual where I do the middle pillar to enliven a candle and then burn it after it’s been oiled. from tonight I will use it to visualize constantly to help concentration. over it I will
22 – –
visualize my bank balance reading £10000.00 and burning into the air. I’ll probably update how it went.
Date: Friday 31st May 1991.
It’s next tuesday that I go away to stay at Jason’s and I’ve been thinking. Quite a while ago, before I started visualizing, he was going to get a flat from the council and sub-let it to me. Once I was living there it would be a one bedroomed flat so I could sign on the council list as living in cramped conditions. Jason’s brother got a flat really quickly when he went on the list because he went to see them every day asking them if they had anything. Jason could possibly say the flat causes him anxiety or troubles his asthoma so he could get another flat and I could stay there. He got a letter from the council saying they would interview him but he didn’t bother going down. When I’m there I’ll ask him if he’ll go down and see if I can get that off the ground.
Also I went to the building society yesterday and used the account till that I visualize, except I drew £30 out. People from my bussiness have been asking for refunds so there I’m losing
23 – –
money rather than making it. I got a letter from the dole yesterday saying that my claim for unemployment benefit from two months ago has been refued. I never claimed unemployment benefit and I already get income support. The letter had my name and NI number on and it said I may get income support (which I already get). This means I may get two cheques. Mind you, I don’t know if I’d be able to cash them because someone may see two cheques sent out on my file. If I get a cheque first time I shall cash both because I did report a cheque missing and I will say I thought it was that.
Date: Wednesday 5th June 1991.
I’m writing this at Jason’s house. I’ve had to go get shopping and stuff so I suppose my confidence has gone up. Also in my birthday money I got £350 plus I’ll have 2 giro’s for sixty quid and fifty pounds in cheques I’ve got saved up from my last bussiness. Also before I came here I got an impression I was supposed to go on a course. First of all I told Yasmine, who told mum about it,
24 – –
and then pretended that she didn’t. anyway mum offered to pay for it so I took up the offer. Before I did Geoff asked me if I had taken it (before I had). Also I got an unsolicited letter from the people who do the course meaning me over all this time I’m still thinking about it, and that arrived the day before I asked for the money. The course should be waiting for me by the time I get back. It costs £189 and they guarantee that you will get money back from count royalties or they refund the course.
Now I’m here at Jason’s I’m supposed to be going to kettering with him & His brother and his brother’s girlfriend on friday and I don’t really want to I may go and get a job just to get out of it. So either my confidence will be raised or I’ll have paid employment AND have my confidence raised. I prefer the latter and will try hard for a job. This is all very difficult though. I’m going back to Ann’s for a while and I’ll ask the I ching when I’m there.
Date: Thursday 6th June.
Q, What should I do tommerow,
A.
[one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 20] STATIC. 20.
A, CONTEMPLATION.
This shows he should be like the worshipper who has washed his abultions. but not yet. his offering. With sincearity and dignity he inspires trust and respect.
Date: Friday 7th June 1991.
The above probably means that I’ve I’ve done the creative visualizations but havent yet done any action to show I CAN do it so it’s here that the hard work starts.
I suppose the force possibly cropped up, I would say definately. It has taken me by surprise I thought that all those things would fall into my lap, but now I see I have to work for them. Well, I think it will be worth it.
Also I’ve got a few giro’s & cheques birthday money saved up to pay in the bank and I think know I visualize me paying in a large sum of money so hopefully that’s the start.
Date: Monday 10th June 1991.
Jason’s brother came round yesterday and told us about a new flat he’s getting and that his landlord has alot of property all over Northampton and Apparently he can get me a SELF CONTAINED FLAT fairly soon and the
26 – –
D.S.S. can sort out the whole thing, meaning that I’ll get housing benefit so I won’t have to pay for it.
My course hasn’t come yet. I sent it second class, yesterday so it may be here Friday / Saturday and I may be able to make money with that. I don’t know if I’d be able to do it without the dole finding out though.
I bought 4 packs of build up today. That’s a meal in a drink kind thing. I shall have three two of them a day plus one meal so that’ll take me closer to 10 stone. I think that’s all the developments now.
Date: Wednesday 19th June 1991.
always visualize myself in a suit and now I’ve got one.
27 – –
my course has come and I’m going to work on the assignment tommorow. It says, or rather shows you how to be a full time writer and I think I could make the £10.000 that way. I put money in yesterday so I have around £1300.00. £8700.00 to go!
The flat completely fell through. It will take two years but I shall continue! I’ll probably go on the council list first.
I missed a couple of nights when I first got back so I’ve made up for it now.
Date: Monday 24th June 1991.
I’ve been doing the visualizations a little later now so sometimes I’ve fell asleep while doing them. When I do it late at night I can actually see pictures although visualizations coming much easier now and I only have to be relaxed to see pictures like dreams. My concentration is bad though. I shall do them earlier now to avoid the possibility of falling asleep while doing them though. (it’s un forgiv).
Nothing’s happened about the flat but I am still working and thinking of a Job generally.
28 – –
I have been doing them everyday since I got back and have worn my suit so that’s o.k. Ann should give me the money for it today, around £200 making approx £1500.
My writing course has come and I should get enough to live on. It’s practical and shows you how to make cash from it. If I send off lots of letters I may get 3 acceptances a week probably at £50- 100- 150 a week. I suppose if I write like mad I could prob do 6. but say 3 4-5 hundred. That’s only 20 weeks. I think I’ll try to send a letter a day far hopefully 3 replys 3 acceptances. I think it will be long & hard to make a living this way. We’ll see. Maybe Money will come from elsewhere to.
Date: Tuesday 25th June 1991.
More pangs of wanting a Job.
Date: Saturday 26th June 1991.
I’ve had a very bad cold recently and have missed a few sessions. Though still feeling bad I’m back on course now.
While I was sneezing and feeling rotten of course Ann made me sit outside as usual. (like I am now). (and got rowed about it).
I can’t do the writing course very well ‘cos everytime I look for books/ruler ect. Ann has moved it so I’ll have to take all this stuff out and then try to hide
29 – –
it somewhere.
I’ve been working out how I can do it. I’ll get a book a day/ 2 from the library and put the notes onto tape. Then I’ll write to magazines and try to interest them in publication. When one say’s yes I’ll send it in. If I do 7 a week I may get 3/4 yeses and out of those 1/2 acceptances at minimal £80. Not much, but a start.
Jason reckons his brother got a flat in 6 weeks from the council so I will possibly go on the list on Monday / Tuesday.
Date: Monday 1st July 1991.
Q, Should I go on the housing list, what will be the result.
S/
[one I Ching hexagram, resulting number: 24] (STATIC). 24.
A, RETURNING.
This indicates that there will be free course and progress. He finds no one to disturb him in his exits and entrances. Friends come to him and no error is commited. He will return and repeat his proper course. In seven days comes his return – Advantageous in every way.
Date: Wednesday 17th July 1991.
17 day’s later and I’ve still not done it. I’ve been waiting for Ann to help give me a reason, but I have one now and I should send it tommorow.
30 – –
I have to see the volunteer ?beaurex tommorow so I’m nervous as hell.
All the stuff’s been cleared out my bedroom over a month now, exactly the way I visualized it & I’m selling it all (books, lights, ect) and paying mum/dad back. I’m at £1600 now.
The writing course is O.K and I’m starting a novel (or I started one on Monday) & thinking up articles. (local boy passes mensa exam). I’m going to try 4 or so a week.
Date: Saturday 20th July 1991.
Well, quite alot’s happened really. I went to the volunteer ?beaurex & arranged a job at oxfam in kingsthorpe. I went there & agreed to start on Monday. (In my Goals).
Date: Thursday 25th July 1991.
I’m transfering the book. At the moment I keep 6 Diarys and the amount of work is off putting. I’ll have to conclude what’s happened so far.
1/ I visualized my room empty and after a row with Ann sold most of my stuff.
2, After living at Jason’s I’ve had some tranquilisers and got a job & am trying to go back to collage.
3, Each night as I sleep I try to project and I feel very close sometimes, I think that’s good progress.
4, I’ve applied for Housing benefit which should give me more money each week.
5, Today I’m starting a diet & developement of will excersizes to help with occult & life.
7, I’ve gone on the council waiting list.
8, I’ve become more confidant.
9, The other day I saw Matthew Topp (an old school friend) and went for a
31 – –
drink & decided to try to go to college with him. 10, I wish to take up Karate. 11, I’ve completely Smartened up. 12, I almost have £1700.00 Savings. 13, I’ve Started a writing course. This means I almost have goal 3 of complete confidence. Slim + healthy are in sight. £10.000 is a possibilities from writing Astral projection closer . Chance of a flat.
I now transfer the proceeds & findings of this record to the large red book
“Walk on!” 1:54 am 25/7/91.
— 32 —
Handwriting Note:
Phonetic and unique spellings are highly prevalent in this batch, notably “accomodation”, “definately”, “re-housement”, “insure” (for ensure), “Aqiure” (for acquire), and “preform” (for perform). On page “1”, the phrase “Arresting movement” was written and then struck out with a single line just before the sentence “He adorns himself…”, which I have preserved in the transcription text. The author also routinely writes the result numbers for I Ching hexagrams scattered around the diagrams, occasionally restating them at the end of the line.
Handwriting Note:
The phonetic spelling trend continues smoothly in this batch (“orginal”, “tireing”, “perservere”, “definately”, “beeing”, “paticually”, “abultions”). The author also uses erratic apostrophes, such as “see’s”, “eye’s”, and “it’s” (as a possessive). The struck-through text on page 6 remains fully legible and was transcribed with underscores as instructed.
Handwriting Note:
The author’s phonetic spelling quirks remain very prominent in this batch (“vertue”, “calamitys”, “reckond”, “orginating”, “vigulent”, “catious”, “yeilding”, “minuits”, “parlious”, “tierd”, “ect.”). Struck-through text continues to be legible and was fully transcribed within underscores as requested. The author also clearly corrects themselves on dates (crossing out “Monday” to write “Tuesday” on page 10, and writing “2nd May” alongside a crossed-out “April” on page 12).
Handwriting Note:
Because these pages are predominantly visual sketches and diagrams, standard paragraph rules were adapted to list the scattered text labels sequentially. On page 18, the weight target appears visually similar to “10 lbs.”, but I have transcribed it as “?10 st.” (10 stone) because the loops match the author’s previous ‘s’ and ‘t’ forms, and it contextually aligns with their explicitly stated “Plan Four” on page 11 (“I weigh exactly ten stone”). The grids on page 17 were transcribed verbatim to honor the literal accuracy rule. On page 14, the numbers along the walls (“?3-2003”) are slightly ambiguous but have been transcribed exactly as they appear.
Handwriting Note:
Phonetic and habitual misspellings persist (“unpluged”, “beeing”, “definitely”, “opertunitys”, “relavant”, “realising”, “everytime”, “bussiness”, “asthoma”). Plurals are often inappropriately given apostrophes (“plan’s”, “book’s”). On page 20, the word “same” is struck through with a single line and replaced with “up” immediately to its right, transcribed here as _same_ up. On page 22, the ‘o’ and ‘n’ in “Jason’s” are squished tightly together, making it look briefly like “Jacy’s”, but context from previous entries confirms Jason. Similarly, on page 23, the words “asking for refunds” are written quite loosely but clearly match contextually and letter-by-letter upon close inspection.
Handwriting Note:
The author’s phonetic and idiosyncratic spelling remains consistent (“refued” for refused, “bussiness”, “tommorow”, “abultions”, “sincearity”, “definately”). The capital letter mid-sentence correction rule was heavily utilized in this batch—particularly for words starting with ‘S’ like “shopping” and “stuff”, where the author naturally writes a larger form curve that reads lowercase in context. Struck-through text (e.g., “think”, “three”, and the sentence “It has taken me by surprise”) and underlined text (e.g., “never”) have been transcribed seamlessly between underscores as requested. Missing punctuation was also supplied where a clear capital letter started a new logical sentence (e.g., “…AND have my confidence raised. I prefer the latter…”).
Handwriting Note:
This final batch contains several phonetic/creative spellings standard for this author (“everytime”, “prob”, “replys”, “tommorow”, “day’s”, “alot’s”, “Diarys”, “tranquilisers”, “collage”, “developement”, “excersizes”, “confidant”). The author continues to write conflicting dates (e.g., “Tuesday 25th June” followed directly by “Saturday 26th June”). On page 31, the word for “bureau” is written very ambiguously and appears phonetically as “?beaurex”. Also on page 31, the numbered list skips “6” entirely, which was preserved exactly as written. Struck-through text on page 30 remains legible and was transcribed within underscores.