Thirty two years ago, I perfomed a magickal ritual that rofever transformed my entire life, to this very day. For the previous five years, I hd been akone agoraphobic, and so socially phobic, I was, to all intents and purposes, a mute. At one point I could barey even open the curtains of my bedroom. I had no moeny or joybb but was too ill to even apply for unemploymnet benefits.
For those five dark years, I had one focus only, which was both a passion and my only hope – and that was my obsession with magick and all of it’s associated branches (law of attraction, manifesting chaos, Golden Dawn etc) and also the deeper aspects of magickal philosophy known as the great work (aka awakening, nirvanah etc). Being trapped alone in a room with nothing but this, I learned the skills of magick and manifesting, slowl regained soe confidence, cvolunteered in a charity shop and signed on for unemployment benefit.
After fie years of constant magickal study and practice, I developed a ritual which lasted for seven monthws, a rirtual of total transformation with specific goals (money, ublished books completed detree, romantic partner, to be slim and astral projection at will). the daily practice of the ritual evolved into a mangicak manifesting process of conscouness/way of life.
At the rituals culmination, I was still unemployed, penniless, living in my aunt’s house. But within three months of the climax (releasing the magick into the serpentine lake in London) I was living in the tropics on the other side of the world (a single trip that lasted over a decade until I briefly returned). during that time I published numerous books, found my soul mate, had many relatinships, completed a UK honours degree with PG cert and in the past 35 years I’ve been in the (much hated UK) for a total of less than one year (for funerals and exams).
The ritual and method itself was based on the sound principles of chaos magick, law of attraction, basic principles of rituals as I had been hrough all of the Golden Dawn material. It involved empathetic magick (akin to poppper/bodoo as I was young and very focused on finding a partner), talismanic and enocihian magick and evolved a dairly mindfulness practice (based on crowleys willl development) and monthly rituals based around the moons cycles. I was artistic at the time and created small moels of each of my goals and I also, fortunately, had already commenced on my other lifelong passions: jounallingand photography – and so I chronicles the entire process over seven months and the refineent of my techinque over the ensuing 30+ years through 65+ countries.
I’m not going to lie to you. It wasn’t all easy. My goal to be slim worked. I was over 100 kilns at one point and am currently a health 81, but the energy I released created anb eating disorder. Within ony year of the ritual ending, I was working in Australia and met my apanese partner, the love of my life, but due to my abuside past I cactually created a limerant, long distance relationship that cousn’t last. when I realized how muycb energy had gone into creating this whcih was practically unsustainable, I had to create another loong piece of magick to ovle the situation, which took a lot longer than seven months!
I have also been living with a genetic condition all of my life which affects my mscles. My DNA suggests I should be ead but the menthod has got me this far. I might be a bit beaten up, but I’m here living a life I love in Cambodia.
My practice/way of life in using a disaplined mind to always be in one of three states eiutgher thge joy and gratitude of manifesting, the compassion of generoist or the inquiry of awakening. It involves using sustained attention of predefined goals, learning to raise the energy of a chosen emotion and linking it to a goal, a mental picture wich becomes a replace ent thought – you you will NEVER thisnk about a nevative you ever again. The crus is, the mehtod you will choose the contents of your consciousness, and choose each thought and emotion.