The Ghosts of Sorya – Prelude
I’m in darkness. But I know I exist. I know by the swirling lights I can see. They spin around and around and the darkness brightens into a scene.
I’m looking down on a boy, or perhaps somewhat of a man, doing rituals with two dolls tied together.
The sweet smell of Methamphetamine. This is the modality that I recall from the happiest time in my life. A very distinct moment in time. Actually it wasn’t the smell of the narcotic itself, from the smoke I mean. It’s the distinctive smell of a person who’s been smoking it. It seeps onto their skin, and like with any smell, the associations are subjective. So, I associate it with the happiest day in my life. Yes. In the cheapest hotel in Phnom Pehn. Five dollars for three hours.
I was lying on the dank mattress in the gloom – the overpowering smell of mould was made bearable by the sweet smell of methamphetamine. I recall Coldplay’s in vitra vitra on MTV turned low; the small TV providing the only illumination. I could just about make out the mould-stained walls and broken wooden furniture.
We were naked under a thick duvet, necessary due to the aircon that Ara insisted on having full blast – and the rattle of the antiquated machine was not only louder than the song, but seemed to blast into the room most of the aroma of pungent mould. I wondered if it was actually connected to pipes running deep into the centre of the earth and we were breathing in the air of limbo itself.
She was sprawled over me. I could feel her breathing and her billous hair was all around my face, tickling my nose but I beared it and refused to move and break the moment. ARTHRITIC PAIN AND DISEASE HINT TRAPPEX LIKE CRAB ATTACK A thought arose in my serene mind – that this is the happiest moment of my life. I was so calm there. I realised it would be a good time to go back in time. That my inner-world is more real than my senses – I can go back and recall the things I’ve always avoided. The things that in forty years, I’ve managed to avoid – but now, lying in this woman’s arms, afor the first time ever, I feeel fine and safe to go back