Memoir as Medicine - Writing my Lifestory

A Writing Mini-Course

based on the book Memoir as Medicine: The Healing Power of Writing Your Messy, Imperfect, Unruly (but Gorgeously Yours) Life Story, by Nancy Slonim Aronie and published by New World Library. Available on Amazon.

Module 1: Getting Started

Telling what you loved: When someone finishes reading your work, have the audience tell you what they loved about it. This helps you identify the strengths in your writing and fosters a supportive environment for growth. Encouraging feedback allows you to focus on what works well in your writing and builds confidence in your craft.
Engage your attention and transform your intention: Writing effectively requires focus and intention. Begin by recognizing the need to clear distractions, set a purpose for your writing, and actively direct your mind toward the task. This involves creating space to write with purpose, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow in a focused manner.
Book jacket exercise: Write your book jacket as if you were the editor of your memoir. Summarize the main themes, appeal, and the essence of your story. The goal is to narrow down the scope of your writing and create a concise, engaging description that captures your story’s heart, helping you see the larger picture.
Don’t start at the beginning: Acknowledge that chronological order isn’t essential when writing a memoir. Instead, focus on what grabs the reader’s attention right away. Starting with a compelling event or a defining moment engages your audience and makes your memoir more dynamic.
Opening sentences exercise: Write three different opening sentences or paragraphs for your memoir. Experiment with different tones and approaches to find the one that best captures the reader’s attention. Consider using vivid imagery, intriguing questions, or provocative statements that set the stage for the rest of your memoir.
Write what you do instead of writing: Notice if you are cleaning, cooking, or engaging in other activities to avoid writing. Procrastination can take many forms, and recognizing it is the first step in overcoming it. Acknowledge the avoidance tactics and commit to writing even when it feels difficult.
Make it real: Be emotionally honest in your writing. Trust your readers to connect with your vulnerability. Writing with honesty—without holding back—creates a deeper emotional connection and makes your story resonate more profoundly with your audience.

Module 2: Exploring Themes and Perspectives

Comfort zone story: Write a story where you are forced to leave your comfort zone to start a personal transformation. This exercise explores how stepping into the unknown can lead to significant personal growth and change. The discomfort of leaving your safe space often leads to the most profound moments in life.
Write about someone different: Write about someone you once thought you could never get along with until you found mutual understanding. This exercise encourages empathy and the idea that people are more alike than they are different. By writing this, you also explore how relationships can evolve when preconceptions are challenged.
Turning points: Set up who you were before a major life shift. Use this to illustrate the contrast between your past self and who you became after the shift. The focus is on showcasing the impact of a significant transformation, whether personal, professional, or spiritual.
Leaving something behind: Write about a time when you considered leaving something behind—be it a job, home, or relationship. Delve deeply into the emotions and motivations behind this decision. This exercise helps explore the difficult emotions tied to change and the courage required to move on.
Shift in consciousness: Write about a moment when your consciousness or behavior shifted, such as letting go of resistance, overcoming a long-held worry, or experiencing a sudden realization. Describe what triggered the change and the immediate and long-term effects it had on your life.

Module 3: Refining Your Voice and Style

Write your second waffle: Understand that your first attempt at writing might just be “seasoning the grill.” Your initial draft is often a trial run. Don’t judge it too harshly; it serves as the foundation for further refinement. Allow yourself to write freely without worrying about perfection.
Multiple versions: Write the same scene or chapter several different ways. Explore how different perspectives can shift the meaning and tone of the story. By doing this, you become more adept at finding the version that resonates most with your authentic voice and the message you want to convey.
Beat around the bush or get to the point: Write two versions of the same story—one indirect and the other direct. This exercise helps you experiment with different narrative styles to see which feels most effective for your story and voice. Do you want to be subtle and allude to ideas, or would you prefer to be direct and clear?
Sensory description: Write a vivid description of a place, person, or event, engaging as many senses as possible. Use detailed language to immerse your reader in the scene, describing how things look, sound, smell, taste, and feel. This exercise helps develop your ability to make your writing more immersive and alive.
Insights: Whenever you experience a moment of clarity or a meaningful insight, write it down immediately. These insights often hold deep wisdom, and capturing them as they arise will help deepen your writing. Pay attention to those “aha” moments and preserve them for later reflection.

Module 4: Deepening Emotional and Relational Connections

Life-changing insight: Write about a life-changing insight you’ve had. Recount the context in which it occurred, the emotional impact, and how it shifted your worldview or approach to life. This exercise is meant to explore the transformative power of realization and its long-term effects.
Phone call: Write about a phone call that had a profound effect on you. Recreate the dialogue and emotional atmosphere of the call. Whether it was a moment of reconciliation, a shocking revelation, or an important decision, this exercise allows you to focus on the power of communication.
Synchrodestiny: Reflect on and write about a moment of synchronicity in your life—when a coincidence felt like a meaningful connection, revealing a deeper truth or guiding force. Explore these moments of alignment and how they shape your understanding of fate and choice.
Esoteric piece: Integrate something esoteric or spiritual into your memoir. Whether it’s a personal revelation, a mystical experience, or a principle you follow, share this knowledge through your writing. This exercise helps you blend personal experience with broader philosophical or spiritual insights.
Taboo topics: Don’t shy away from writing about taboo or uncomfortable topics. Confront these issues with honesty, and explore them with sensitivity. Whether it’s mental illness, addiction, or family secrets, writing about difficult subjects can be cathartic for both you and your readers.
Letter to someone: Write a short letter to someone who might be concerned about you knowing your business. This can be a therapeutic exercise for exploring boundaries, privacy, and the complicated feelings we have around transparency and disclosure.
Journaling: Commit to journaling regularly as a means of capturing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This practice will help you develop raw material for your memoir and clarify your thoughts. Journaling becomes a tool for reflection and exploration, a means of working through the complexities of your life.
Expand on a journal entry: Take a journal entry and expand it into a full-fledged narrative. Use it as a springboard to develop a more detailed account of an event or feeling, turning a private reflection into a larger part of your memoir.

Module 5: Polishing and Preparing for Publication

Give your story time to breathe: After writing a draft, step away from it for a while. Returning to your work with fresh eyes will allow you to spot areas for improvement, refine your narrative, and make necessary revisions. This time apart helps you approach your story objectively.
Eavesdrop: Start a piece of writing using a line you overheard. This could be a piece of dialogue, a phrase, or a bit of conversation you’ve heard. This exercise draws from real life, turning everyday moments into fuel for creativity.
Use dialogue: Write a piece primarily using dialogue. Dialogue can reveal character, convey emotion, and propel the story forward in a way that descriptive narrative might not. Practicing with dialogue sharpens your ability to capture the rhythm of real conversations.
Vulnerability above all else: In your writing, be as vulnerable and emotionally honest as possible. When you are open about your emotions and struggles, it creates a deep, authentic connection with your readers. Your vulnerability allows them to see themselves in your experience.
Trick piece: Write a “trick piece” just for fun. Experiment with unconventional narrative techniques or playful elements. Whether it’s a surreal narrative, an unreliable narrator, or a fragmented structure, use this exercise to stretch your creative boundaries.
Add a detail instead of “etc.”: When writing a list or describing something, resist the urge to use vague terms like “etc.” Instead, add a specific detail that enriches the description. This exercise trains you to avoid lazy writing and enhance the depth of your narrative.
Write yourself a rejection: Write a rejection letter to yourself, explaining why something didn’t work. This exercise allows you to reflect on why certain aspects of your writing might not be effective, and it provides insight into how you can improve.
Write about being a winner: Write about a time you were a winner—not by external standards, but by your own. Reflect on a personal victory that might not be celebrated by others but that holds deep meaning for you. This helps redefine success on your own terms.
Visualization: Visualize a goal every night for 30 days before you sleep. Use visualization techniques to strengthen your resolve, manifest your desires, and align your actions with your aspirations. This practice fosters clarity and focus, helping to anchor your writing journey.