Diary Overview
Okay so this is The Diary of Occult ritual 1990 to 1991. It’s a diary i wrote more than 30 years ago now and at that time i was keeping a lot of different diaries like a yoga diary a meditation diary and over time, well quite early on, that was too much work.
It just became one diary. And I kept everything kind of in an ongoing journal, which I’ve kept up all of my life.
And I’m 54 now. So I’m going through these books because… back at that time, I was not doing very well in England, and I ended up doing a large magick ritual that took seven months to change my life, and it worked.
And a few months after that, I was actually in the tropics, traveling around.
having adventures and I’ve stayed here ever since. I’m writing this from or I’m recording this from Cambodia and I’m writing my memoir and everything.
So I’m just going to go through this book because I want to make a transcript just so I can see what material is in there to see if I want to incorporate that in my current writing.
The Elemental Weapons
I remember I was into art, like I am now actually, making magickal things.
And I had an old dip pen and I wrote the whole thing by hand.
And it was about me making these elemental weapons, consecrating them and putting myself through an initiation ritual, as explained in the Golden Dawn work, and I’ve kept up this kind of magical path ever since.
I’ve developed my own system over those three plus decades, which I’ll be presenting if all goes well.
So I won’t read it word for word, but I’ll read some of it word for word, because a lot of it was just copied from the Golden Dawn material.
So I start off with the elemental weapons here, and it’s describing how to make them.
So the wand, it’s made of smooth wood, 10 inches in length. The end is cone-shaped. Paint the whole thing scarlet, et cetera. Now, I did actually make all of these weapons, and I consecrated them, and I used them.
And when I went off to Asia, I stayed there for more than 11 years, the first trip, when I got back.
Because I was living on the road as a lifestyle, I de-consecrated everything.
But I’ve got the pictures of that time when I did actually consecrate the weapons and do all this stuff.
So I’ll include some of that here. So then it’s also got the names to put onto the weapons.
So the cup, I ended up buying a wooden cup, which I then decorated myself, I remember, and the sigils and everything is included, the divine names.
The dagger, I got an amazing dagger from the old occult shop.
back in england that was near my house by coincidence and it’s got the names and the pentacles.
There was also a wooden dish that i painted and made myself and there are the diagrams and then I included the actual rituals of constant consecration i can’t remember exactly where I copied this from i think it was probably a commentary book about the Golden Dawn, because I did have two big Golden Dawn books.
I had the original material, a gigantic thing I could barely pick up, but it was so hard.
I was using the (Israel) Regardie stuff. So I might have got it from somewhere there.
I can’t remember exactly where. So I hand wrote these consecration rituals, which I also then performed.
Consecration of the Pentacle. And then notes about the colors to use for the different weapons.
And then the Lotus one, that was a separate one that I remember.
I remember finding this like old, I think it was a part of a broomstick or something, ironically, in my Aunt’s garage, and I painted that up in the correct colors.
And I also had, I picked up the other things that were required, like the bell.
That was a silver bell that I found locally. And I made the elemental pictures, et cetera.
Brass candle, let’s go through, hang on, the brass candle burners. I remember those, I had those.
A black candle snuffer I ordered online. The seven planetary badges in correct colors I made.
Four elemental badges in colors I made. The Rose Cross Lamen hung from yellow silk.
See, some of this I could actually… the magic mirror and the crystal ball.
I made a magic mirror, but I had the crystal ball and the tarot from the local occult shop.
So there’s all of the diagrams of the things that I needed.
I don’t recall exactly what I was writing there because it looks like there’s a missing page.
Consecration Diary
Now this is part of the, see I did actually make a magical oath here.
So here I’m keeping a diary of the actual consecrations as I did them.
September the 19th, 1990
The rainbow wand was consecrated. ???? awkward, something uncomfortable, felt good though.
September 20, 1990
Pentacle consecrated, felt good, went, something. Also started writing a book in the Kabbalah, which may be significant.
[I actually wrote a book about it. I was basically a teenager and I thought I knew enough about Kabbalah to write a book that people would buy.] I’m making regular attempts at lucid dreaming now.
September 21st, 1990
A dagger consecrated.
September 22nd, 1990
A chalice consecrated.
Also, on the hour of Saturn, I’ve (?had) a talisman consecrated, but the correct seals, sigils and signs for the purpose of astral projection, went well. Afterwards, I came in and got an old book out about the dream method of lucid dreaming and read it with renewed interest but I’d forgotten about the talisman so that now my so that may mean something. I’ll continue trying to lucid dream but using a new method.
The Oath of Magical Obligation
I, Frater, [name withheld,] do this day spiritually bow myself to a magical way of life. I will do the utmost to lead an unselfish life and will prove myself a faithful and devoted servant to the divine source of all, who works in silence and naught but silence can express the unity beyond duality, the unity behind comprehensible unity. I will keep secret all practical and theoretical knowledge from those in whom my judgment are not ready to receive it. For to tell the truth to someone who is not ready to accept it is the same as telling that person a lie. I will not claim to be anything more than I am, a student of the magical way of life, light, love and freedom. Not being an initiate of any order, I will not initiate anyone. I will perform all magical or practical magic in a place concealed and apart from the gaze of the outside world. I will not display my magical implements nor reveal the use of them to those who are not at a level where they need to know them. I will not make any symbol of talisman for those who are not truly in need of such help. Before those with little knowledge of magic, I will only perform simple and well-known techniques, keeping the deeper wisdom and methods for those who are ready to learn. I further promise and swear that, with the divine permission, I will, from this day forward, apply myself to the great work, which is to purify and exalt my spiritual nature so that, with the divine aid I may at length attain to be more than human. I thus gradually raise and unite myself to my higher and my divine genius, and that in this event I will not obscure the great power and trust abuse the great power… the great power entrusted to me. I further solemnly pledge never to work at any important magical work without first invoking the highest divine names connected therewith. I especially pledge not to debase my knowledge of practical magic for the purposes of evil and self-seeking. If, in spite of this pledge, I do so, then I invoke the avenging angel, Han, that the evil may react on me. I promise to treat people with equality, no matter their religion or sex. I will not slander, I will not lie, I will not spread rumors. I undertake to continue my practice of the magical way of life whether I work with others or am unassisted. Finally, if in my travels I should meet a stranger who claims magical knowledge, I will examine him or her before acknowledging that such is the case. I will reveal nothing to that person and nothing of the inner wisdom I have gained save that which I could give to any man or woman until I am sure that his or her claim to knowledge is true. such are the word of this my obligation as in the baptist minor whereunto I pledge myself in the presence of the divine on and in the great avenging angel who are by my own will and under their watchful vision if I fail to keep my magical obligation may my magical powers cease until that time when i can rightfully have them one more again once more again given to me so help me with my mighty and secret soul signed name withheld date
September 23rd (1990)
Fire wand consecrated. Moon cone consecrated for the purpose of lucid dreaming.
Saturday the 28th of September 1990
Today I did the consecration of a Kabbalistic talisman with the purpose of getting me a wage and somewhere to live. ???? independence which I have been visualizing for some time now anyway.
Monday the 31st of December 1990
This evening I was going to have company but as I’ll be alone I’ll continue with my original plan. For a few weeks now I’ve been using the middle pillar to charge a pyramid shaped candle with the power to bring new things for the new year. I think I’ve taken a big step forward recently. I tried… I had a dream that I was making a magic mirror and using it in a ritual, then read a book about clairvoyance which said that the hypnogogic images seen before one falls asleep come from the same source as clairvoyant images. I’ve been able to hold onto these images for some time now. I decided to once again try and use my crystal ball, which worked in a rather amazing manner the first time I tried. Then I read another book which explained that when somebody does an invocation, they use a crystal to peer into their world rather than bring them to physical appearance. It makes such sense. The second time I used the crystal (ball), last night, it showed me a picture of me making such a crystal. This has become, this has, this instance become relevant to me. It is also logical now. I can’t believe it. It seems I began to develop clairvoyance specifically to do unification. Totally unbelievable.
[There’s a picture next of the triangle of manifestation which I’ve drawn. And then there’s the instructions to make a magic mirror with a picture of how to place the magic mirror.] That’s how to make a magic mirror. I’d better get on with the rest of the ritual.
New Year’s ritual 1990 to 1991
Set up the circle as usual to not really going something. Ages ago I explained I empowered two marble something one of which i shall bury the other I shall sow into silk and keep invoke Egyptian goddess which i’ve used as a deity worship for some time now light candle look to crystal for help can’t read the rest.
25th of July 1991 2 a.m
This is the fifth diary i keep And the something work is too much. I therefore transfer the records of this journal to the red book, [something, and then my signature].
Conclusion
So that’s the end of the book. And that was, as I say, when I first got into the occult, I first got into diary writing and I was just… bit of a mess and I got into religion very quickly I got into spirituality and then over, this was 1990 and I left England in 1993, so over those three years I was basically completely obsessed with this and I did this long piece of magic to get myself a completely different life and a completely…