Diary 121295 RAW OCR - Writing my Lifestory

DIARY
12 DEC 95
-> 28 JAN 96
+ MISC
Keepsakes in
Rear

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add to list.

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Robert Lipton
_crossed out: J.S. Lipton_

J.S. LIPTON
ADDRESS
ENGLAND.

TEL- INT. ACC. CODE, FOLLOWED BY:-

ALTERNATIVE ADDRESS

ENGLAND.

TEL. INT. ACC. CODE, FOLLOWED BY:-

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D- Tuesday, December 12th 1995.
1:25pm. Local Time, Garden Restaurant, Varinessi, INDIA.

I’m not sure which pen I should be using. The red one is kind of nicer but I was going to save it for the script.
It really is very, very bad and I’m not sure if I really want to discuss it, write about it that is. I can’t even remember the time I last wrote. My dear, it was a very long time indeed.
Well, I’ll sum it up basically (I still love saying that). I went to say hello to a woman who just looked at me because she didn’t (possibly) speak any English, then again I was mumbling I supposed. I think she just moved incase I’m a creep. I put my hand out to be shook and she just looked at it. Maybe she just complained to the management. They shoved somebody else into her room and I think they said she left for another guesthouse.

I’m sure I’m making it in to a bigger deal than it is. I only said hello, the bigger picture is still good.
I moved around Varinessi alot and finally ended up here_ well, in my current hotel. last one ever. and the management lent me a fully working typewriter while I stay there.

13 Dec 95 – A restaurant in Varinessi, 2pm. (local) India.

I think I must just look at all this now in perspective and stop being paranoid.
When did I last write? Agra? Well, as I said, I’ve moved around Varinessi since then but ended up at this place where the typewriter comes free so it’s cool and I’m over half-way through my amazing blockbusting novel.
Mother is coming to Goa on Jan 10th and I am to meet her.

I’m going to do my level best to finish the book by Christmas, I’m due to finish Dec 26 Boxing day, but thats doing my standard 2000 words a day. If I can increase that to 4000 maybe I could finish just before Christmas. Then it’s a matter of correcting 6000 words a day ready for the final draft, but I think that work will be alot easier especially because I can do it out, say in a restaurant. Workwise things are very good and I really can’t complain, it’s just the pathetic lonliness to combat now.

You’ll remember my obsession in Bangkok, mainly sparked by my reading of a clinical study of greif, well, I never really stopped thinking about it. I never did catch up on all the meditation. I got in the habit of performing a daily ritual, I’ve done it for ages now. Everyday I shower, after I light insence at my shrine and just hold it contemplating two things.
(1) The fact that I don’t have any answers.

(2) My genuine desire for the truth.
I’ve often noticed how the whole thing seems preordered. Yes, obviously you create all your circumstances by your thoughts. But also religiously speaking, whenever I start a train of thought or the reading of a particular subject (spiritual) then suddenly everywhere I keep finding more and more information along those lines, as if to guide me. I really do beleive that’s exactly what happens.

So I thought fine, do it. I’ll empty my mind to admit I don’t know a single thing, I don’t have any answers. All I can have is a desire for the truth.

Well, I think it came to me in the form of Zen and Vipanssa Meditation.

I read a book and suddenly understood the principles of Buddhism. I always knew them intellectually, mean this time I really understood them. Mainly when I understood the word Dukkha meaning suffering to also mean THOUGHTS (it always comes back to thoughts). Namely the point of meditation is to observe the mind, supposedly to change it? The reason the stuff I started on Jan 1st 95 failed was I was trying to control something and because I was keeping scientific results to plot on a graph I was really just playing a numbers game with myself. This is why it didn’t work I think. My current practice with the new knowledge is to concentrate on the tip of my nose observing breathing. As thoughts arise I just watch them, often I get caught up in them and “lose my-self” and have to re-think them consciously. but sometimes I can hold awareness. The point being constant awareness, which eventually spreads out to complete awareness with throughout ones life including dreams one would suppose.

I think as you do this then the thoughts themselves stop coming?

I really can’t say because I haven’t masterd it.

But this way you aren’t anything, you just are.

It seems a natural progression for your thoughts to stop, and the great thing is you can do it at any time, and anything can be passively observed. I’ll have to just do it and observe results?

As you watch your mind you see the thoughts fall and rise, I try and judge where they come from and if that’s me. Then I observe the silence inbetween each thought. It’s not good at the moment because the more I look at the mind the more horrible it is, also I often can’t just passively watch raw emotion, if I feel bad I feel bad, I find it hard to watch bad.

As I say, I can only continue with this maybe when I have that concentration of will it’ll be better? I don’t know.

14-Dec-95 – A quater to twelve

I was out today and saw a dog. It’s leg was missing. It had been ripped off somehow. The flesh looked like something the butcher would sell, and the cracked bone was sickly. Was it an evil human in the past? Did it do something horrific as an Alien on a distant planet?
Or is life completely meaningless?
_x_

[Symbol: downward pointing arrow] 15 DECEMBER 1995

Self is in Everything
Nothing is Void
(Reverse)

[

D-17/12/95 – Trimurti GH 4pm Varinessi, INDIA.

Alls well that ends well. I think my bit of ‘trouble’ has passed and every-thing back on course. I’m a bit behind with the writing. I won’t finish until 27th Dec now, but it may be sooner if I can double the word rate on a couple of days, Maybe towards the end I can speed it up because I’ll be more motivated now it’s finishing?
I aint got long ‘cos me dinner’s ‘ere. An apostrophe ‘ always indicates ownership or a lost letter does it not? I just noticed.
I’ve just seen somebody japanese reading a hard-back, I’ve only ever seen Japanese Paperbacks to now.
I thought about junko’s letter up until now, well, I mean I considered it. It’s nice to have received a card, it’s on the way, I don’t have it now. I wonder what the strange dream I had concerning her meant? I’m sure I’ll find out in the letter. They would have said if it wasn’t from Japan so I assume She’s O.K.
I might spend a few days sightseeing on the way down, thatway I could return via calcutta and enter Nepal from Darjeeling? I’d have to see?
Ann already has me a typewriter, that’s an incentive to work. I’ll use it to completely type up the manuscript when I get there, so that’s good, at least it will have had some good use then I suppose. Apparently the keys are like computer keys? So I don’t know.
Just considering the bigger picture, it looks good. I’m in a perfect room that almost looks as though it was designed for writing, I have a type-writer for me + one coming and the directory and a camera coming. Yes, everything is going according to plan. It couldn’t be more perfect this way to be honest, but I’ve been here a long time, it will feel great to be moving again. Hard work until I’m in Nepal I guess.
I wonder what her news is?……..

WHAT IS
THE
SECRET
THAT
EVERYBODY
KNOWS .
_crossed out: [squiggly line]_

18-12-95 – Trimurti – Varinessi. INDIA.

I really behind with the book now. It’s due Dec 29 so I’ve only two spare days. I need a day to see Sarnath and arrange the ticket so I’ll have to get on and see. I thought maybe spend ten days in Bangalore pt correcting it? I’ll have to see? I dunno what else to say.

19-12-95 – Kushubu Restaurant Varinessi, India.

It’s getting very close to the end of the year. I can’t find deodorant here so I smell strange, + I haven’t shaved for a while. I just woke up, I’ll get cleaned up later. I think I overdid the whiskey last night.
With the amount of work I’m doing I’m not going to get alot of time for a review of the year I mean. It’s been quiet in respects. Luckily no complicated love triangles so that’s something I suppose.

21-12-95. Trimurti – Varinessi. 8.15pm.

Very good: Very bad.
Very bad. The writing is falling behind. I’ll have to start correcting each day instead of typing alone, that way the correcting will take less time I suppose. It looks like I could well finish late, but I’ve gained 4 days because Mother doesn’t come until the 14th, so even if I leave late I should still get 7 days and ofcourse 40 hours on a train to do the correcting. Yeah, I’ll make it but it looks tight.
Very good.
The local paper (from England) wrote back and said they’re “INTERESTED IN RUNNING MY STORY”. This is very good because it’s going to advertise the book, which means more chance of publication because a photocopy can be submitted with the script which would make my novel stand out, also it would make it easy to get an agent because I’m already gaining notoriety. An agent would, of course, practically guarantee publication of anything half-decent. Yes, it’s all looking very good today

plus the meditation’s going well.
Tommarow Gease is phoning so I can dictate the letter I wrote to the paper because they wanted me to speak on the telephone. So he’ll telephone on my behalf to find out their requirements, but from the sound of the letter they want a full article, just the thing to impress an agent! Yeah, this couldn’t be better. It’s just the hard work of writing that’s difficult. But I can do it.
I was also thinking about the camera and photography generally. If I get the canon body + 2 lenses zooms, a 50 would be a perfect lense to keep on the camera all the time + lightest, and take the flash everywhere in my pocket. That would be the standard, and it would have slide film in. I’d carry it constantly with a 50mm on. I’d use the other just on days when I was specifically out shooting. The flash might work on both cameras? So maybe a 50mm on the Yashica i+ I can get the superglued lense off? Yeah, that’s going to be a good set-up.
Also I thought I could start

BIRD SANDWICH.

using the British Council in various places to analyse the magazines, maybe do it in Calcutta and be writing articles on the way up to H.K. do so until I settle down somewhere to write the synopsi. The whole thing seems to be planned out nicely.
Well, then there’s the magick to consider. I think it was fate I lost the file o’fax because the stuff I was trying for was unrealistic, this years stuff will be better. It will be feasible for a start, also I’ll do it better. It will be general rather than a set form of visualisation, from A to b, just a few keywords so I’m doing it in the right order and then off we go, I’ve already a year of visualised affirmation currently manifesting a free type writer. ect. So we’ll see.
I was thinking of picking more camera gear up in China because it should be alot cheaper, theres a 18-28m £100 zoom. I’ll look for that, it should be there in the little shops sometimes. I’ll see.

I was about to ask Mar for a £10 party camera + a £7 hot-shoe, if I forget all that and just go for the 50mm now, that will make it easier to carry about, I think I’d shoot more too, yeah. Maybe just the 210 to save £30 then and maybe look for a fixed 300 + wide angle zoom in the middle kingdom? (And a second body) that’s a much better idea. Do I really need a 300mm considering the weight + that it would often need a tripod? Yes, it would be slide but that’s o.k. B/w film in the Yashica to save money + have black and white and that way I wouldn’t need anything. I could take 2 of important slides and _crossed out: make cibachromes/_ copy them in a slide duplicator if necessary, and theres nothing to stop me putting b/w film through it when I want to, + I can work towards a second body. It would be easy to dupe + not too much loss in quality, + ill be copying everything onto video, this way

I’d be sticking to quality. I like it. I like it alot, yes, I’ll get the 50mm and will use it with slide, I’ll just wear the camera constantly. I may lose a few candids this way _crossed out: but_ (without telephoto) but will have the camera constantly on me so will realistically lose less. Maybe go for the 300 anyway if I get nothing else + I won’t be carrying it constantly.
MAGICK

Date: Dec 25th Christmas Day 1995 – 9pm. I’m in the restaurant but it’s really busy so I don’t really want to eat, no, I mean I’m not going to stay here. I was going to come down and write about the past and future, but I can’t be in the mood in this setting, + I haven’t done my 2000 words yet + am on the way to being drunk so I’ll leave it.
I have to sit here for an appreciable period of time or it looks funny as though I’m not happy with something, which _crossed out: because_ I’m not but it isn’t really anyones fault so I’ll leave it. Yeah, I always write in this manner when trapped in unavoidable situations but hey, THERE IS NO SELF, Hey, After talk, I’ll stay
[large illegible scribble/signature]

Well as I’m not settled here on Christmas day amongst the shouting Japanese I may as well committ to paper the truths learnt during exalted states recently. _upstairs_!
There are other things written down upstairs (from an exalted state). but I’m here now so will just pen on the anniversary of christ, the one that sticks in mind.

The Received Kiss of Understood Time

I guess it’s very simple when I just write it down.
It’s how I get excited when I think of the future + the past always seems golden & happy.
Ofcourse at the time I felt a now, there’s only a self at anytime, in the past or future reality takes on a magickal qualities that didn’t/wont exist.

[Diagram: A horizontal line with arrows at both ends, labeled above: “PERCEIVED HAPPINESS.” Below this is an hourglass shape made of two triangles meeting at their points. The top triangle is labeled “PAST”. The bottom triangle is labeled “FUTURE”. An arrow points from the right to the intersection of the triangles, labeled “<- Present”]

On understanding this one can look mindfully at present circumstances and realise that the magickal tommorow will look like today tommorow.
Also today will be sadder than tommorow, when completely understood then today becomes magickal today and

The

PAST BECOMES

NOW.

Date: Saturday 6th January 1996.
L- Restaurant (devoid of service) in the Tourist Lodge. Panji, Goa, INDIA. LT- 10am.

I’m here. Today I realise Indians are the anti-thesis of the Chinese. You can be in a Chinese Restaurant asking questions like, does the Sweet ‘N’ Sour have alot of pineapple in, Do you have green tea ect. then you ask a choice type question like, what time do you close? and they just repeat ‘yes’ again, then you realise they don’t understand a word and are just saying ‘yes’ to everything. So you can have fun saying, ‘do you piss in the teapot?’ ‘Can I have your daughter?’ ect.
Indians just say ‘no’ to everything they don’t understand. I’ve walked round and am still looking for food, always to be told ‘no’. In restaurants with huge flashing ‘open’ signs in. I was told it was closed everywhere. Welcome to Goa!

Do you notice a single man is not a respected man.
Well there’s no point in whinning, I may aswell get on with it. (why does this keep happening to me??) A good Buddhist wouldn’t be attatched to the idea of getting food. thus true. I should take the middle-path. there is no food.
I made it to Goa. let me check when I last wrote and I’ll write it from then.
Wow, it was Christmas day. As I recall that was really horrible. The family phonecall from every body got me down. I think I felt the same at New Year.
Well, I carried on work as usual. I finished the script on the 30th Dec, then picked my post up. I think on the 30th also? I read it then. I remember it was the day before I went to Sarnath. Christmas card from Mrs Anderson ect. + a letter from

Junko. it sounded really depressing. Kym is with her, he’s ok. but did something which isn’t too bad when she doesn’t think about it. That means the [right margin: star symbol] wierd dream I had must have been some kind of telepathy. It sounds like he hit her. It was so strange. Yeh. She recommended a film I’ve already seen, that’s it. Very short letter. I think she’s bored of writing. I’ll continue till I get the book published, then leave it.
New year I didn’t do so much. I went over to Sarnath, that was nice. Good pictures. Looked round. In the evening there was the depressing call, apparently the man Grant spoke too was leaving so it’s still not so sure exactly what they want or how long they want it to be. That sounds good, though I think Gee is going to screw it up when he phones again!

At midnight I was really sad to be leaving and wasn’t invited to the party that everybody else was. I felt really alone and sat and cried. At midnight I just lit insence.
Upon leaving I just said Bye, sat in a restaurant, bought the filters I need then went to the station. The train was delayed by two hours but I got on and it wasn’t bad at all. There was just one other foreigner. Gregory Warren. We sat and talked a bit. He’d just come from Nepal, I had to help him get the train with all his bags. A strange man, didn’t return smiles ect. Well then there was a film crew in our carriage. Every time we stopped at a station we’d be beseiged by fans looking for autographs. Then the star of the film went mad when some boy shoved him so that was fun and games.

————————————————–

I got in 35 hours late and late.
I got ripped off in a share taxi and the Indian couple in the back helped me get accomadation which was nice of them. I hated Bombay so left Next day.
The bus didn’t leave until 5pm so I hung around. Was ignored in restaurants alot and (not as bad as here) then found the bus. It was a real hassle but I met these two English kids from London & we all talked, that was nice. The bus was unbelievably rough. Sometimes I’d be thrown so high I actually hit the fan above me. (I can’t beleive it, I ha to be served here, I’ll type see if it speeds up). Then we got in and said goodbye. I stayed one night in a really dear place and completely shaved my head. It was such an anti-climax and so painless.

Well. that feels good.
Next day I moved. This ‘Republica’ is unbelievably rude, though I think just Normal for Goa, it’s good value though. The coffee’s come, I’ll drink it, then look for food!

Date: Tuesday? January 9th 1996 L: Restaurant in Hotel Venite, Goa, India. LT: 12:10pm.

I go round to the tourist board quite often now. I never do get served, well, rarely. I usually take my own food & drink! It’s the same in this place. It must be something about me, maybe I’m invisible.
I was considering love. Romantic love that is. You know how paranoid I’ve been through 95 I think deliberately avoiding everybody. The Clinical Study of girls in Bangkok didn’t help. It’s good though because I finally accept the absolute and irreversable fact, that when you ever obtain anything a countdown begins to when you’re going to lose it. If it’s something bad it doesn’t matter, but if you like it then it’s bad. The fear of losing it is painful. Also the satisfaction of desire leads to more desire and ultimately you’re going to die. This is the most unfortunate problem, and it’s the same for everybody. Any kind of attachment is ultimately going to cause pain. So the only question is: What am I going to do about it. If this is an inescapable fact then I must live life accordingly. Yes, time to be logical.
It’s such a significant time at the moment, I really can’t explain it. It did start in Varanasi, I think it had been brewing for a long time though.
I’ve just finished eating and this whole moment is significant. Where the _HELL_ do I even begin to explain all this?
I shaved my head on January 4th, it was good. For 3 years I’ve travelled round in a ?dandruff hiding hat, a slave to my own vanity. Suddenly I’m free.
1 yr ago the wisdom books were introduced to me by Junko, here I am leaving them.
I’m about to draft my first novel and see Mother.
I’m alone in this restaurant, just me watching my body rot and myself die and I feel great.
I scribbled in the back of this book once how things look Golden the further back you look in time. Also the anticipation for future events is more golden) So time looks like

[Diagram: A bow-tie shape with “PAST” on the left triangle and “FUTURE” on the right triangle. An arrow points up to the center intersection labeled “now”. To the left is a vertical double-headed arrow with the word “happiness” written vertically next to it. Below the bow-tie is a horizontal double-headed arrow labeled “distance from Self”.]

Maybe the further away from the Self you get the happier you become? Well imagine now, when the cross meets, not past or future. One second is not now because it can be divided.

[Diagram: A horizontal line segment with tick marks at the ends, labeled “1 second”. An arrow points up to the middle labeled “now”.]

and so on forever to a 1/10 sec. 1/100 sec 1/1000 sec until it can’t be divided anymore. So that would be the “ATOM” of time. Now if you perceived that and did split it what would be the Nuclear fusion of time: Nirvanah.

Well, this is theorising I didn’t intend to do here. I was talking about what I was going to do in the larger scheme of things that is. Obviously I have to find ultimate truth now, but I still must live in this world because I’m attached + alive. I can’t renounce everything. But I must start to live life as an act of meditation. It must all be meditation.
So I have the fact I must still possess things but must do so without attachment and only with the ultimate goal of Nirvanah in sight. While I “own” things they are an object of meditation used to observe the self, while I have them I’ll be watching the self who thinks it’s

possessing them, and I must do this with everything. I must meditate constantly, so even when I don’t have them the apparent desire or the self is also an act of meditation. It’s perfect, so while I desire I’ll try and get things but whether I get them or not it’s an act of meditation, and all with a view to truth.
I’ll take each thing like smoking food ect, give things up / take lay precepts, and watch as my self craves, watch the transition into craving as an act of meditation. Yes, it’s perfect.
And each “thing” I practice magick for will have the ultimate goal of Nirvanah as it’s central object.
It turns out all the stuff I ever wrote about giving up because I don’t know the motives was the MIDDLE PATH.

Saturday – 8.05pm LT

I’m in a Very bad restaurant.

D- 13/1/95 LT- 1’33p. L- Back at Venite.

Mother arrives tommorow. I spoke on the telephone. There was another letter from Junko? Maybe telling me if my dream had come true?
They’re bringing a spell-checker. It’s taken me all this time just re-writing, that gives me a chance of being able to finish it.
Also they looked for my stopwatch but I don’t think they’re bringing one.

Date: 28th January 1995 – L – On the beach in Goa Lt. 10:41am.

So much to write.
My parents are here, they’re away for the day with friends today.
Let me think/write the story of their arrival.
I left the “Republica” at 6am the day they arrived. Incidentally, the owner told me Oscar Wilde stayed in that place.
I got to the airport and the _crossed out: plane_ bus was delayed eleven hours, so I actually finished correcting the manuscript there!
It was a bit tearful when they touched down. Brian hesitated weather to hug me, but settled for a handshake. I was struck by how much older Mother looked, but she had sat on a plane for so long.
We sat in silence as we went to their place. I suppose it was awkward to begin with.
I got my stuff. It turns out the camera was broken. The pentaprism is marked and the metering keeps turning off. The typewriter was second hand but adequate, especially since I’ve cleaned it now.
I went 5km. away to Benaulim to find accomodation, it was full. I ended up sleeping in a private house. I did find somewhere the next day though.
It’s so much trouble getting over my writing fell behind. I will only be half done when they leave. I’ll have to finish the rest in Bangalore.
We eat together most evenings. I think Mar was upset I didn’t come everyday but I had sleep problems ofcourse.
The letter from Japan turns out to be from Mjen, the Zen monk I met in Shanghai 2 1/2 years ago, which is so strange considering my minds just been opened after reading Zen for 2 months and the main character in my book is his, or was his, friend. Very Very strange. [Symbol: Star drawn in right margin]
Nothing else much.
I had a dream I was drowning, at the last moment of panic I turned the experience into an object of meditation and accepted it. I realised it meant meeting Mother and the pain of separation should also be meditation.
Talking of meditation,…. It’s fell by the wayside.
I asked Mother for a stopwatch, but the one she brought doesn’t have a countdown. I think I’ll start now just recording breaks and the time practiced and when I find one I’ll buy an alarm/watch that can be set precisely. I think I’ll try 20 mins but if I look before to check the time and it’s less than 20 m. then I’ll add five minutes? Yes, this is good.
Also I’ve not kept record of what I’ve done or pictures took. I’ll recreate January the best I can in the back of this book.
That’s it, I’ll add later.

[Photograph of two Indian 10 Rupee notes, front side]
[Top note]
10 RESERVE BANK OF INDIA 83K 144114
GUARANTEED BY THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT
[Left panel: unreadable regional scripts]
भारतीय रिज़र्व बैंक
केन्द्रीय सरकार द्वारा प्रत्याभूत
I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER THE SUM OF TEN RUPEES
10
मैं धारक को दस रुपये अदा करने का वचन देता हूँ।
[Signature]
GOVERNOR गवर्नर
83K 144114
दस रुपये

[Bottom note]
10 20C 105129
भारतीय रिज़र्व बैंक
RESERVE BANK OF INDIA
केन्द्रीय सरकार द्वारा प्रत्याभूत
GUARANTEED BY THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT
मैं धारक को दस रुपये अदा करने का वचन देता हूँ।
10
I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER THE SUM OF TEN RUPEES
[Signature]
गवर्नर GOVERNOR
20C 105129
सत्यमेव जयते
दस रुपये

[Photograph of two Indian 10 Rupee notes, reverse side]
[Top note]
10 भारतीय रिज़र्व बैंक दस रुपये
TEN RUPEES 10

[Bottom note]
10 भारतीय रिज़र्व बैंक
[Left panel: unreadable regional scripts]
10 दस रुपये TEN RUPEES

[Photograph of an Indian 1 Rupee note, front side]
1 भारत सरकार
GOVERNMENT OF INDIA
भारत INDIA
सत्यमेव जयते
एक रुपया
एस. वेंकिटरमणन
वित्त सचिव, वित्त मंत्रालय
[Signature]
FINANCE SECRETARY, MINISTRY OF FINANCE
ONE RUPEE J 6H 571455

[Photograph of an Indian 1 Rupee note, reverse side]
रुपया 1 RUPEE 1986
भारत सरकार GOVERNMENT OF INDIA 1
[Left panel: unreadable regional scripts]
एक रुपया ONE RUPEE

[Photograph of a Malaysian UniphoneKad telephone card]
84MSAA029715
5 4 3 2 1 0.5 0
[Diagram: A horizontal wedge shape tapering from left to right, indicating remaining value]
UNIPHONEKAD $5
Tidak boleh dikembalikan.
Talian Terus UniphoneKad 03-4562177.

[Taped insert: A phone card featuring a soccer player in a blue uniform kicking a black and white ball. Text on the card reads: BTI, New Straits Times, WORLD CUP USA ’94, UNIPHONE. A handwritten note on a piece of paper partially visible underneath reads: found at 10.3]

[Taped insert: A crumpled ten-dollar banknote from Hong Kong. The front features two lions flanking a tall building. Text reads: 10, 拾圓, The Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation, 10. The back features a coat of arms and text reading: 10, 香港上海滙豐銀行, The Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation, 10, Promises to pay the bearer on demand at its Office here, TEN DOLLARS, HONGKONG 1st JANUARY 1992, By order of the Board of Directors, GENERAL MANAGER, QZ745804, 拾圓.]

[Taped insert: A business card for HOTEL SIKANDER. Text reads: HOTEL SIKANDER, 2/10, South Gate, Taj Mahal, AGRA-282 001 (India), Phone : 260979. FACILITIES: Restaurant, Only One Minute walk to TAJ MAHAL, Taj View From The Roof Top, Air Cooled Rooms, Hot & Cold water Supply 24 Hours, Bank, Post Office, Bus Station Markets very near.]

[Taped insert: A business card for HOTEL REPUBLICA. Text reads: Phone – 224680, HOTEL REPUBLICA, OPP. SECRETARIAT, PANJIM-GOA, PIN – 403 001.]

[Taped insert: A business card for TANSY Cottages. Text reads: TANSY Cottages, Bar & Restaurant, Varraddo, Benaulim Beach Road, Salcete – Goa – India, ☎ 734595, Prop: Magno Fernandes.]

[Taped insert: A business card for GUJRATI HANDICRAFTS. Text reads: JAI SHREE KRISHNA, GUJRATI HANDICRAFTS, MANUFACTURERS & DEALERS OF Traditional Benares Silk Brocades Scarves, COTTANKURTA, TROUSERS, SANDAL WOOD, SILK HANDPAINTING, BATIK, BEDCOVERS & BAG Est., Address :-, House No. K. 37/53 GWAL DAS SAHU LANE, Behind Gopal Mandir, (Golghar) Varanasi., Note : – Please first go to the Punjab Studio (Bulanala) then follow the arrows to our shop.]

[Taped insert: A torn piece of paper with handwritten text, taped upside down. Text reads: found in the Atrium Bar Area at 10.30pm: (by M.S. – Bombay)]

[Taped insert: A business card for ‘MUNSHI’ GANESHI LAL & SON. Text reads: Phone : 364216 H.O., 360110 Branch, Cable : ENCLAY, Established 1862, BY APPOINTMENT, ‘MUNSHI’ GANESHI LAL & SON, JEWELLERS, EMBROIDERERS & ART DEALERS, H.O. : 9, M.G. ROAD, P.O. BOX 123, Branch : 144, Fatehabad Road, AGRA – 282 001 (INDIA), (Near MUMTAZ HOTEL), GEMS SETTINGS, EMBROIDERED BAGS, BRASSWARES, INLAID MARBLE & SANDAL WOOD.]

[Taped insert: A business card for NEW R. K. HOTEL. Text reads: Tel. : 385 8770, 387 4381, NEW R. K. HOTEL, A. C. Non A. C. Single Double, Family Rooms with Telephone Intercoms Facility 24 Hours Hot & Cold Water & T. V. with Dish Antenna, Room Service., RAHIM VILLA, 8th Khetwadi, 10th Lane, Bombay-400 004.]

[Taped insert: A business card for HOTEL REPUBLICA. Text reads: TEL : 44680, 224680, HOTEL REPUBLICA, OPP. SECRETARIAT, PANJIM-GOA, PIN – 403 001.]

[Taped insert: A business card for HOTEL PARADISE. Text reads: ☎ 369199, HOTEL PARADISE, GUEST HOUSE, Furnished with All Modern Facilities, A Calm, Clean & Peaceful Atmosphere, FATEHABAD ROAD, AGRA-282001.]

[Taped insert: A business card for PREM SOHNA SILK BOUTIQUE. Text reads: PREM [handwritten], SOHNA SILK BOUTIQUE, Manufacturers & Retailers, SILK SAREES, SCARVES, BROCADES, BATIKS, ALL TYPES OF SILK FABRICS, PAINTINGS & BED SHEETS, EXCLUSIVE SHOWROOM :, 1st FLOOR (Opp. Keval Gyan Mandir), D. 58/12-14, SIGRA, VARANASI-221 010, INDIA, (WE ACCEPT ALL KINDS OF CREDIT CARDS).]

[Taped insert: A business card for Ganga Fuji Home. Text reads: Raj Kumar, PROPRIETOR, Ganga Fuji Home, EXCELLENT PLACE TO STAY IN THE HEART OF OLD CITY, D 7/21, Sakarkand Gali, Meerghat, Varanasi-221001 (India), 0091-542-327333.]

[Taped insert: Cash Memo from Sikander Restaurant, South Gate, Taj Mahal, Agra (India). No. 844. Dated 1-1-96. Particulars: 1 B.T. Rate 10. Amount 10. 1 Mng Pot coffee Rate 25. Amount 25. Total 35. S.C. 0. Total 35.]

[Taped insert: Receipt from GAYLORD RESTAURANT AND BAR, TOURIST HOSTEL. DATE 1-01-96. TIME 15:35. TABLE 36. WAITER 1. GUEST 1. BILL No. 223. ITEM: 1. NESCAFE CUP. QTY 1. RATE 4.00. AMNT 4.00. TOTAL… 4.00. SALES TAX 6.00% .24. TOTAL AMOUNT 4.24. !! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!]

[Taped insert: Customer’s name and address slip from SIMLA STUDIOS, 4, REGAL BUILDINGS, SANSAD MARG, NEW DELHI-110 001. Date of Purchase: 14-10-96. Dealer’s name and address/stamp: AVI PHOTOCHEM LIMITED, Lake Palace Building, Vile Parle (East), BOMBAY-400 057.]

[Taped insert: Train ticket. HAPPY JOURNEY. PNR NO. 29545229. TRAIN NO. 2137. DATE 1-1-96. CLASS SL. FROM NDLS TO BCT. FARE Rs. 340. THREE FOUR ZERO ONLY.]

[Taped insert: Cash Memo from Sikander Restaurant, South Gate, Taj Mahal, Agra (India). No. 835. Dated 1-1-96. Particulars: 1 Fixed B/F Rate 25×1 Amount 25. 1 Cheese Jaffles Rate 16×1 Amount 16. 1 Egg & chips Rate 25 Amount 25. 1 M/Water Rate 20 Amount 20. 1 F/Pud Rate 50 Amount 50. Total 136.]

Varanasi – Bombay
10.40 Am – 1028 – 8 Am
Maharastra Exp
11.30 Am – 1094 – 3 PM
8.45 PM – 1066 – Tue thur fri
11.30 Pm – 4248 –

[Taped insert: Bus ticket from Maharashtra State Road Transport Corporation. CURRENT JOURNEY-CUM-RESERVATION TICKET. TICKET NO. 0950224. DATE 03-01-96/17:00. FROM BOMBAY CENTRAL TO PANJI. CLASS LUXURY. FARE Rs 215.60. TOT AD+CH 01+00. FARE 215.60. RES CHG 2.00. TOT AMT 217.60.]

[Taped insert: Three Konica XG 100 film box tops. 36/135.]

[Taped insert: Train ticket stub. VIONI. 11/11/95.]

[Taped insert: CASH MEMO from KHUSHABU RESTAURANT, HOTEL SAHU BUILDING, Dasaswamedh Road, VARANASI. No. 94. Table No. 17. Server Raju. Date 11/11/95. 1 Ean Pat Kado Rate 14/- Amount 14.00. 1 Cw Kado Rate 20/- Amount 20.00. 1 Cw Chips Rate 10/- Amount 10.00. 1 Pan for toast Rate 8/- Amount 8.00. 1 calula Rate 6/- Amount 6.00. Total 70.00.]

908 – T2 P16
DADAR EXPRESS
[Taped insert: REQUISITION FOR RESERVATION/CANCELLATION/RETURN OR ONWARD JOURNEY form. Train No & Name: 1066. Date of Journey: 14/11/95. Class: FIRST. No of Berths/Seats: 1. Station from: VARANASI. To: BOMBAY. Name in Block letters: 1. JAN. S. LIPTON. Sex: M. Age: 26. Address: SHRI MURTI MATH, GHATS, VARANASI.]

SATNARAYAN
NOCHI BAG
VARANASI
[Hindi script: सत्यनारायण]

[Taped insert: Receipt from Kwality Bar & Restaurant, Church Square, Panaji – Goa. Table No. 4. Date: 6/1/96. Qty. 1. Description: Arlem. Drinks: 23. 1. H. comanel. Drinks: 15. 1. F. chips. Foods: 15. 1. Souse chilly fry. Foods: 25. 1. cle Sanwicha. Foods: 15. Total Drinks: 38. Total Foods: 55. G. Total: 93. Rs. 96/-]

[Taped insert: Handwritten note on lined paper. (1) State Bank of India Near Hotel clarks. (2) Bank of Baroda at godoalia.]

Salmonella
Schizophrenia
Scholia
Scoria
Sedilia
Septicaemia
Septicemia
Sepia
Solaria
Stadia
Stria
Subtopia
Symposia
tetraplegia
tibia
toxemia
toxaemia
tradescantia
trapezia
trivia
Utopia
vasa deferentia
Vivaria
Wisteria
Xenophobia

[Top margin: ?Hitchu ipton]
[Top margin: ?Hitchu ipton]
[Top margin: ?Hitchu ipton]
[Top margin: ?Hitchu ipton]
[Top margin: ?Hitchu ipton]
pharmacopoeia
pizzeria
planetaria
pneumonia
poinsettia
polio
polyopia
presidia
proscenia
pyemia
pyaemia
pyromania
quadriplegia
quassia
raffia
raphia
regalia
retina
Saintpaulia
Saliva
Sanatoria
Sanitaria
[Diagonal signature: Hitchu ipton]
[Diagonal signature: Hitchu ipton]
[Diagonal signature: Hitchu ipton]

Macadamia
macularia
mafia
mycelia
myalgia
myopia
necromania
necrophilia
neuralgia
nitrobacteria
nostalgia
nutria
nyctalopia
nymphomania
onomatopoeia
ophthalmia
orthodontia
paedophilia
paranoia
paraphernalia
paraplegia
pericardia
perihelia

dipsomania
diplopia
diphtheria
effluvia
emporia
encomia
endocardia
ephemera
equilibria
eschscholtzia
euphoria
ex gratia
exordia
fascia
feria
flora
ganglia
gloxinia
godetia
herbaria
honoraria
hypnopaedia
hyperopia
hysteria
hydrophobia
hyperglycaemia

hypochondria
hypothermia
ilia
impaludism
inertia
insignia
insomnia
inter alia
juvenilia
kleptomania
labia
leukemia
leukaemia
loggia
lobelia
marsupia
materia
media
malaria
mania
megalomania
melancholia
memorabilia
millennia
militia
montbretia

?Goa Rencisense
Wadi Colva Beach
Varca
0041 245208

[Diagram: L shape]
Sunday 9am –
14th
BY202A
Britania Airways
from Gatwick.

[Diagram: small square with lines]
dep 3rd Feb.

Now Need –
Thesaurus Spellcheck.
PHOTOCOPY OF LETTER.
?A55 PAPER & TIPPEX DEPENDING ON SHOP. DICTIONARY PENS?
FIRST CLASS STAMPS.
Envelopes ?
Stopwatch
Travel Measurements
W – 36 IL – 34 1/2 .

J.S. Lipton
_crossed out: Rich Lipton_

[Taped insert: Yellow ticket stub with numbers 416881]
[Taped insert: Indian transport ticket with Hindi text and numbers 9544724]
[Taped insert: Cash Memo receipt from PUNJAB Restaurant ‘N’ Bar, Panaji – Goa. Handwritten items: 1 Limca 30, 1 [unreadable] 35, 1 [unreadable], 1 [unreadable], 1 [unreadable], 1 [unreadable]. Total 134]

[Taped insert: Red heart shape with four British stamps featuring Queen Elizabeth II and Caernarfon Castle]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring a man and 60p]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring Caernarfon Castle £1.50]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring Queen Elizabeth II 2p]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring a bird 30p]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring Caernarfon Castle £1.50]

[Taped insert: The Beatles 1962-1966 album cover sticker/clipping]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring a bird 30p]
[Taped insert: British stamp featuring Queen Elizabeth II 2p]
[Taped insert: Red shape with four British stamps featuring Queen Elizabeth II and Caernarfon Castle]

[Taped insert: Business card for P.S. GUEST HOUSE, Bangkok. Handwritten text: Sois Juspa & + Hilton River [unreadable] 003 79 714873]
[Taped insert: Flyer for SOPA’S HOUSE DANCE CLUB / BAR. Text: DJ’S FROM KO PHA-NGAN. TONIGHTS SPECIAL COMPLIMENTRY TEQUILA WITH EVERY BEER 11pm-12 LADIES ONLY! BIG EASY FUN!]

[Taped insert: Business card for Mughal Arts Emporium, Agra]
[Taped insert: Cash Memo receipt from Sikander Restaurant, South Gate, Taj Mahal, Agra. Handwritten items: 1 Fix B/F 25, 1 Cheese Tomato ome 15, 1 Lmn Tea 10, 1 coke 8, 1 R/ Pulao 60. Total 118]

[Taped insert: Business card for OLD YOGI LODGE, Varanasi]
[Taped insert: Business card for Ganga Fuji Home, Varanasi. Handwritten text: Raj Kumar]
[Taped insert: Yellow sticky note. Handwritten text: 3454 GANGA JAMUNA EXP – 11PM]

Sunday 26th September 1995. Asia
(1)

Dear Anne,
Hello, how are you? Well I trust. I’m dropping you this quick note to let you know I picked the post up though as yet, not the Barclaycard. By the time you receive this I’ll undoubtedly have it. [Taped insert: Yellow sticker “9973 POST SHOP £1.10”] You left the price on the card so I’m returning it, NO! Just kidding. My God aren’t things expensive UK? It would have cost half here. Don’t feel bad, mum just sent me a letter with the ruled page so you can write straight in. What happened to fagins? Is there a new shop there now. It was actually called “Northampton Bookshop” but when it changed hands everybody still used the old name, a bit like the white Elephant.
POSITION

I’ve met this Sikh man from the hotel. Very young. Very annoying. tonight’s the first night I’ve been able to get away on my own. It’s like a little dog following me. Last night he talked about the Hindu holy books and managed to make an interesting subject boring.
I bought myself a piece of turqoise because it’s lucky for Taureans, but it snapped when I sat on it.
Bangkok’s flooded. Whole houses have been ruined.
I said I’d send my plans for India, well I’ll do that when I arrive I guess. I thought I might be able to fly Wednesday, I could only get a 10-day extension (£12!) and the flights weekly so the whole things kind of tight.

(2)
It was a year ago today exactly I was waiting in Perth airport for Joanne to arrive, just after having my human rights abused by Australian customs. That was the day I lost the little camera.
It’s amazing how many days I’ve been delayed trying to leave S.E. Asia, the change of plans, Barclaycard problems ect. It’ll be a shock to actually get on a plane.
The flap of my flip-flop snapped. I fixed it with super-glue, I’ve been knee deep in floodwater for 3 days and it’s held. Jeses, I wonder how you’d unstick yourself if you had an accident?
When I finally leave I’ll be sending my current books back. I’ve kept one book since K.L. without losing it so I’m doing well.

I bought a psychology book about greif. It was full of clinical studys of widows, showing normal and pathological studys of the greiving process. I got really paranoid as I realised any human contact will ALWAYS end in seperation. I wondered if it’s best to avoid all humans; but that’s pathological in itself. Everybody has a barrier inside, the amount of psychological pain they can withstand, when the barrier is crossed they withdraw. So if you withdraw from human contact its pathological, if you dont, then lose your friend/lover/daughter/parent, the subsequent greif will itself cause pathological behaviour. It’s a lose, lose situation.
Then I got really paranoid, what if the dead are still existing in some form, would they not, also seperated from their attatched loved ones, not also experience greif?

As a widow breaks down and claws at graveyard dust curseing God, then is a consciousness of her husband existing in a blackness somewhere calling for _crossed out: his_ his wife and cursing God. If you exist after death it must be in the same form or it wouldn’t be you, if it’s you surely you’d miss your attatchments?
Maybe you exist in a dream, so you’re there but not conscious of yourself, that sounds better. If you exist in your own mind only then it really would be in a dream, you could create whatever you want.
On this particular point one can gain comfort from occult philosophy. That we live in 4 worlds, so when a body dies it’s only one world that terminates, so the living can still be with the dead, but not be conscious of it because the higher selves existing parelel in a higher world are not conscious of themselves, the ego/sence of self can only exist on the lowest sphere: earth.
Well, I just looked at a couple and consider the thought, no matter how close they are, at some point, they HAVE to part. If I speak to the one left after, would they tell me it was worth it?
Oh dear, I only wanted to write a quick note to tell you I got the post and thank you for the £1.10 card (Joke).
I think far too much don’t I? Well, I just thought I’d tell you about the book.
O.K. Well I’ll write a happier letter soon. Don’t worry if you don’t understand a word I’m saying because nobody else does.
Miss you
Write soon
[Signature]

can still be with the dead, but not be conscious of it because the higher selves existing parallel in a higher world are not conscious of them-selves, the ego/dance on Self can only exist on the lowest sphere: earth.
Well, I just looked at a couple and consider the thought, no matter how close they die, if separated, they HAVE to part. If I speak to the one left after, would they tell me it was worth it?
Oh dear, I only wanted to write a quick note to tell you I got the pop and thank you for the £1.10 card (Joke).
I think far too much don’t I? Well, I just thought I’d tell you about the book.
Ok well I’ll write a happier letter soon. Don’t worry if you don’t understand a word I’m saying because nobody else does.
Miss you
write soon
[Signature: illegible scrawl]

[Taped insert: Handwritten list on lined paper]
[Insert text:
milk coffee 05-
Butter Toast 04-
Scrambled Eggs 10-
Cutlet vegetable 12-
Finger Chips 15-
Plain curd 05-
Nan Garlic 08-
Plain Soda 02-
[unreadable]
[unreadable]
]

[Taped insert: Yellow customs form]
[Insert text:
CUSTOMS No 3025917
1. Name in full: Jane Anne Liptrot, Jason Smith
2. Flight No: TG 305 AI
3. No. of Packages: (a) Checked Baggage: ONE
(b) Hand Baggage: ONE
4. Total value of dutiable goods being imported: ZERO
Signature of Passenger
J. Liptrot
]

[Taped insert: Thai Airways baggage tag]
[Insert text:
Thai
SEQ NBR 78
LIPTROT/JMR
BKK30 BAG 1/13
TG 84-81-65
0217648165
DELHI INDIA 27 SEP
DEL
AI 305
]

[Taped insert: Airline ticket stub]
[Insert text:
JOURNEY
Ticket No. 44713983
[Various illegible small print and stamps, handwritten scrawl over it]
]

[Taped insert: Restaurant receipt]
[Insert text:
Shivam Restaurant
South Gate, Taj Mahal, Agra (India)
No. 620
Dated 23-10-…
Qty | Particulars | Rate | AMOUNT Rs. P.
1 | PL Toast | 4×1 | 4-
1 | Scrambled eggs | 12×1 | 12-
1 | Eggs Jaffle | 16×1 | 16-
1 | Veg Burger | 15×1 | 15-
1 | Pepsi | 8×1 | 8-
| | | 55-
R/ Rent 1 Day | | 60
PAID | | 115
E. & O. E. For Shivam Restaurant
[Signature]
Manager
]

[Diagram: Folded paper with various sketches in blue ink. Top left shows boxes labeled “favour”, “ABBS”, “DEF”, a profile of a head with an X over the mouth, a star labeled “EMERGENCY!”, and symbols for a cassette tape, camera, battery, and telephone. Bottom left shows a document icon, text reading “to color indescision”, and a row of five stick figures with question marks for heads. Center shows large looping arrows and a clock face. Top right shows a small figure at a desk and a glass labeled “B” next to a box labeled “U”.]

[Taped insert: Black and white photograph of an older man with a white beard in dark robes]
[Insert text: Kawaguchi in old age.]

[Taped insert: Printed advertisement card]
[Insert text:
Phone: 323554
Trimurti Guest House
CK. 35/12, SARASWATI PHATAK
VARANASI-221001 (India)
FRIENDLY PEOPLE, NEAT, AND CLEAN ROOMS WITH MODERN FACILITIES
24 Hours Runing Hote and Cold Water.
AIR COOLED RESTAURANT: with Indian Continental Chinese, Italian, Japanese and Israeli Foods.
Please Visit | Stay In
Trimurti Guest House
CK. 35/12 SARASWATI PHATAK
VARANASI
Phone: 323554
Located in the heart of the old city very close from the famous Golden Temple, Ganga river and Aurangzeb Mosque GOOD VIEW FROM THE ROOF. Possible to see all importance Places of the oldcity and SARANATH.
You Can see our Guest House Signboard in Fornt to the Varanasi (Cant). Railway Station Please dont believe the Stories of Rickshaw man and Commission people. Catch a Rickshaw from the Railway Station or Bus Station and ask him to take to GYANWAPI. There you Can see our Signboard from there only one minute walk to our Guest House.
Friendly People, Neat, and Clean, Rooms with Modern Facilities
24 Hours Runing Hote and Cold water.
AIR COOLED RESTAURANT: with Indian Continental Chinese, Italian, Japanese and Israeli Foods.
Free Readable Library with All Language Books.
]

[Taped insert: Photo lab envelope]
[Insert text:
BRIGHT the right people
STUDIO SALES COLOUR LAB
]

[Taped insert: Restaurant menu/card]
[Insert text:
Open Khushabu Restaurant Open
Hotel Sahu Building
Opp- Bank of Baroda
Dasaswamedh Road, VARANASI
English Break Fast Including Continental Break Fast
1 Fresh Juice (Small) Egg to Order Omelet/Fried egg.
2 Cornflakes Porridge
3 Toast Butter/Jam (3 Piece)
Tea or Coffee (Small Pot)
Rate-8 35 Rs.
R 40
Including
Fresh Juice (Small)
Toast Butter/Jam (3 Piece)
Tea or Coffee (Small Pot)
Rate 8 20 Rs. 8 8.
R 30
]

[Taped insert: Postcard with photograph of the Taj Mahal]
[Insert text:
MODERN BOOK DEPOT
SADAR BAZAR, AGRA-CANTT (INDIA).
BOOKS, STATIONERY, POST CARD PHOTO-FILMS & MUSIC CASSETTES
]

————————————————–

[Taped insert: Blue and white Indian railway train ticket. Insert text: शुभ यात्रा HAPPY JOURNEY 27189733 17-12-95 NEW DELHI VARANASI 6/110 Rs. TWO FIVE ZERO only 250]

[Taped insert: Yellow paper receipt. Insert text: No 017953 W. H. Smith Memorial School Sigra, Varanasi Price : Rs. 2.00 (Two) Lucky Draw on 17-12-95]

[Bottom left margin, partially visible paper underneath: Miss you write soon [signatures]]

[Top right margin: Diagram of an hourglass shape with horizontal arrows. Text above: Perceived Happiness. Text next to sections: PAST NOW FUTURE.]

PAST Becomes NOW.

[Bottom right margin: Diagram of an hourglass shape in red marker. Text in red marker: Right Idea -> pointing to the hourglass. Below it, a rectangle shape. Text in red marker: Enlightenment]

[Insert: Christmas card front with poinsettias and a red heart. Insert text: Thinking Of You AT CHRISTMAS]

[Insert: Inside of Christmas card. Handwritten text: To dear J. Printed text: This special Christmas greeting Was chosen just for you To tell you someone’s caring- Today and always, too… That someone is remembering Through each and every day And hoping life will always bring Much happiness your way. HAVE A Wonderful Christmas. Handwritten text: with Lots of Love and best wishes for Xmas and the new year Barbara Georgina Andrew XX]

[Insert: Christmas card front with gold and red bells on green background. Insert text: With Love, AT CHRISTMAS AND ALWAYS]

[Insert: Inside of Christmas card. Handwritten text: To j. Printed text: Though special times like Christmas Seem the nicest ones by far To tell you very lovingly How wonderful you are, You surely know you’re loved a lot Each day the whole year through And always wished the very things That mean the most to you! MERRY CHRISTMAS. Handwritten text: ANN. x x x x x. HOPE YOU ARE WELL AND ENJOYING LIFE TO THE FULL .]

[Left margin of diary page, written vertically in red ink: Right Idea]

[Taped insert: Christmas card front. Printed text: Across The Miles at Christmas]

[Inside of Christmas card. Printed text: Christmas joys are wished for you, happiness the whole year through… Christmas love to fill your heart and keep us close while we’re apart. With Love At Christmastime]
With all our love Mum + Brian.
See you in the New Year xxx

[Taped insert: Greeting card front featuring a bunny on a bicycle. Printed text: JUST FOR YOU. Small text on basket heart: with love]

[Inside of greeting card. Handwritten letter:]
Dear ,
It was lovely to hear from you again, and to hear that you like India… I hope these two magazines will help you in making a choice of camera… It would be lovely to see you again if you decide to come over for the Christening, Geoff says you can have his room…. I could be a good chance to sort out some of your photos etc and start afresh…. Anyway I am sure you will do what you think best for yourself…. Mum + Brian are going to Acapulco sometime the end of November, but they have not yet decided where to go After Xmas….
We where glad you att last are getting yourself some shoes etc, aswell as the 2 shirts + trousers you bought in Bangkok,
Just as I got of Abington Square I met Jasmin, she just finished work, she works at the
[Printed text: LOTS OF LOVE AND WISHES.]
Bottom pub in Abington Square, she was telling me she is getting quite a lot of problems with Sarah…. Paul is now in a special school in Towcester, and is getting on allright (he has been there 2 weeks). they pick him up in a TAXI there + back…
I grew some SUNFLOWERS this summer and they grew 15′ high. Geoff said I should have taken a photo of it, but you now I am no good at taken photo’s…. and I did not think you would be interested what I grew in my garden.
Anyway take good care of yourself, I do miss you and everyday, there is some little thing either in to house i.e. (Tea in you tins….) other food you used to like in M.S… althoug now in a letter you wrote that it was all rubbish food
Lots of love
Ann.

————————————————–

Thursday 22nd June 95

Dear J,

Everybody is well here & I hope that you are too. Tomorrow Louise Thomas & I are going to Bournemouth for a long weekend. Hope its as much fun as yours with Yasmin!
The house should be sold in approx. 2/3 weeks for £50k which will leave a reasonable profit of about £7k but not as much as the £10k I hoped when I bought it. As you seem so interested I thought I would let you know. The way mum has portrayed it to you a ‘Shanti Town’ seems better built.

Monday 28th Aug 95

Dear J,

A fair time has ellapsed since I last wrote, but not as long as the old letter that I found that I sent with some more photos.
The house is due to be sold on 25th Aug but the contract only went out today so its a race of touch wood.
I went on holiday a couple of weeks ago to North Devon & it was very nice. Much better than Greece or Spain but the weather here has been very good this summer. Now we have a drought though?
Much like yourself I am looking to set up in a business & am currently considering doing burgers/drinks etc at the Northampton Show & Balloon Festival.
Thomas is growing all the time and learns a lot to do something new everyday.
As you know Sarah has been causing trouble outside the pub but has now received an official warning from the site manager
She has not been about recently but this might also be the massive love bite on her neck?
Things are a bit hectic at the moment, the tax want some money. I’ve just got a new car, there’s lots of paper work needs doing, & it’s the bank hols next weekend.
One funny bit for you though. I took Thomas swiming & before I got in I felt a warm sensation on my leg. You guessed it the pool was a bit fuller.
Love Geoff x x x.

Billing 8th June.
Monday 12th June.

Dear J,

How are you – only another two days and I shall be talking to you on the phone again.
As you can see there are two dates at the top of the letter, I got all set to write to you when I got a rush on and that was that and I havent had a chance since, I seem to be so tied up these days its unbeleve the only time I get off is when I go down to Auntie on a Wednesday to phone, I suppose its lucky I can do that because at least we’re up to date with the news.
So you’re thinking of going to India, what do I say, but after talking to you I’m sure you will work it all out as you normally do and who am I to judge because I only go as a tourist

so there really isent any comparesion like you said when you hit some of the villages it must be intirely different to the tourist towns where all the rouges and beggers seem to get together.
You seem to have a large work load planned, thats good news and I hope that everything goes to plan.

Friday 16th June.

I dont seem to be getting anywhere very fast with this letter writing these days. So I’ll try again –
Plans have changed then and now its Laos you’re going to. But wherever, as long as you’re happy thats all that mattes, and one consolation at least you do you’re home work on the places that you go to.
Talk about flaming June.

III

The last two weeks seem more like winter, its dull and overcaste and cold infact its very depressing over here. I think perhaps its just that I feel pissed off this morning and for no reason at all. But no doubt by tonight this feeling will have passed.
Have you sorted out you’re boots and trousers – If not, why not and do it now afterall Bangkok is one of the better places to get sorted out.
When we finished talking on the phone on Wednesday, Auntie remarked that you hadent said ‘Happy Birthday’ its tomorrow ofcourse and Geoffrey’s on Sunday. Still if you did forget never mind there’s worse things happen at sea!
So whats the news here – not a lot really – Yasmin is having

_IV_
trouble with Sarah, which I did predict a long time ago. She’s been wagging school, she shop lifts – smokes and God knows whatever else. So to try and help out Brian’s been taking her to school and has given her a weekend job. Whether that works out remains to be seen, but we can only try.
Baby Thomas goes to nursery now because Louise has started back to work. He seems to be thriving though and Geoffrey is still the proud daddy, lets hope it lasts and they get themselves sorted out, by that I mean that they set up together. They’re going to Bourmouth next weekend and Geoffrey reckons he’s going to take Thomas swimming – poor little bugger !!!

_V_
Carly still works weekends on the gate and seems to have her head screwed on right she still wants to become a nurse so lets hope she makes the grade in her exams. —— Paul still remains the same, gets himself into trouble and hasent been to school for over a year would you believe.
Thank you for your letter which I received last week plus the wristband and ring which I shall put with the other collection.
You made a very true statement when you wrote you think you’re happy when you put things off it is a false satisfaction and I only wish I could get through to Brian about that. He is the worlds worse at putting things off and then he wonders why everybody gets on to him, but then he’ll never

_VI_
change, so I for one try to ignore it.
Its good to know that you have developed your culinary tastes. Its one of lifes enjoyments to eat good food and I must admit that Thai food does taste very good. There’s a couple of Thai Restaurant opened in Northampton, but they’re never the same as when you’re actually in the country.
Well J I will close this letter now as I want to post it today incase you decide to move on shortly.
Take good care of yourself, and may your God be with you in your travels and at all times.
Miss you so much ——
Love you —
Mum. xx

Billing
_Wednesday 12th July._

Dear J,
How are you – well + happy I hope. What a shame that we couldnt get in contact yesterday but we tried so many times and eventually when the operature phoned Bankok they told her that the phone was off the hook — But never mind, at least you had the sense to phone Auntie, Brian gave me that message but I havent actually made contact with her as yet
We’re having a heatwave at the moment but we never seem prepared for it in this country everybody’s walking around like a wet lily, me included its the humidity that gets me.
The last time I wrote did I mention that Sarah was working in the kitchen. She lasted two weekends and walked out on a week

_II_
last Sunday saying she had got a life of her own to lead and wasent prepared to work. I did predict this would happen, she’s a spoilt brat and lazy with it. Mind you Yasmin seems to encourage her. She’s now 14, smokes takes drugs and stays out half the night, she sure takes after her mother. What do I think, I think let them get on with it.
Paul nearly burnt the house down last week, well thats a bit of an exageration at least it was confined to his bedroom He’d borrowed Carly’s Telivison that got burned, bedding carpet etc. Phil’s been decorating to get rid of the burnt smell. He’s still so naughty its untrue and he hasent been to school for a year — What hope is there there. —— Carly, well she has to clean and sort things out and she had exams that week, but she seems to take it all in her stride

_III_

She’s still working on the gate at weekends and seems quite setteled.
Talking about being settled, Geoffrey seems to be changing, now that Thomas is on the scene. Thomas is turning out to be lovely little boy and he’s so happy _crossed out: its untrue_ giving all and sundry a big gummy smile. I saw some photo’s at the weekend and they were really good so hopefully Geoffrey might send you a couple. Louise is back at work now so he goes to nusery 4 days a week, but it doesnt seem to be doing him any harm.
_crossed out: Business_
Here in Billing things are going alright, we have had some very busy weekends and tick over nicely in the week. We do of course have our problems like staff not turning up for work etc. but on the whole

_IV_

its not too bad, and we seem to muddle through. I’m so tired though I feel I could sleep for a week.
By the way, saturday night whilst serving in the bar someone said to me – “your Jason’s mum arent you”? I was a chap called Chris Wall and he wanted to be remembred to you –
I havent had a letter from you for a while now, but I must admit when we talk on the phone regularly there isent so much to write about, so perhaps thats the reason, or else you’re busy.
Tuesday 12th September.
What a shock – its exactly 8 weeks since I put a pen to paper I can hardly believe it and at the moment I’m feeling very guilty about this. The only good thing

_V_

is we have been in contact by phoning so perhaps it isent too bad afterall.
The season here bar weekends is vertually over and now is the drag untill Nov. 5th when the site closes. Its been very good so far this year the 6 weeks of brillant sunshine made our day its back to Rain on and off now but I really could’nt care a dam!
I’m sitting here trying to think what has been happening over the last 8 weeks and apart from work and sleep, I can think of nothing exciting to tell you on the whole things have run very smoothly and we had some really good staff to help us along. They’ve all more or less left now as they were students and have now gone back to university. The ones that are

_VI_

left I think you know. Steve who used to be up the willy – Mick McNally – then 4 you would’nt. My main one though is Ian who turned up out of the blue and is a really nice chap you could say weird in a way keeps himself to himself and seems to be on a different wavelength to everybody else. He is interested about corresponding with you because he is very much a loner, but as you dident commit yourself I left things alone, because _crossed out: if_ its meant to be it will happen.
I’m going to finish this letter now and get it in the post and then start another one tomorrow. I got your aerogramme and your long letter (came in a G.P.O. plastic bag again) and I’ll reply to that as well.
I miss you and love you very much
_crossed out: T_ Take good care of yourself.
Mum xxx

[Printed receipt on white paper with red text and blue handwritten ink:
Trimurti Guest House
(NEAR VISHWANATH TEMPLE)
Phone: 323554
C.K. 35/12
SARASWATI PHATAK
VARANASI
Date 15/12/95
Ref. No.

Handwritten text: Received Rs. 1000/= (one thousand only) as advance for R. No. 11 against Receipt No. 13355.

Signature: ?Bansidhar
15/12/95

Blue ink stamp:
TRIMURTI GUEST HOUSE,
Ck. 35/12, Saraswati Phatak,
VARANASI-221001.]